I Know I Will Regret This
by WinnieTheFatPooh
Summary: Pein decided to take a vacation with Konan, while everyone else had to stay in the rat hole..Uhm.. Akatsuki base and do whatever they want, which we all know is not a wise thing, but Pein expected them to be a little more mature, hopefully...Yaoi!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello people :D. This is my second fic and I really hope you like it. I'm planning to make it longer than a one-shot, but I'm the sort of person that just won't feel like updating without knowing what people thinks of this story, so please review and tell me your opinion, especially constructive criticism :D. **

**I want to thank LaBunny32 for reviewing, because her review made me want to write something.( that review was the first one I ever received ) THANK YOU :'D.**

**Disclaimer: It's really strange that Mr. Kishimoto would be here in this site, writing crap, and can't talk Japanese, eh?**

**Summary: Pein just had to be a pain in the ass and decided to take a vacation with Konan, while everyone else had to stay in the rat hole.. Uhm.. Akatsuki base and do whatever they want, which we all know is not a wise thing, but Pein expected them to be a little more mature, hopefully... YAOI , HidaKaku, SasoDei, ZetTobi, KisaIta and PeinKona.**

~ I like to move it move it ~

Pein was in his office, and was about to claw his eyes out of boredom, but he decided that they are too useful to be the victims. So he attacked his hair instead.

Just as he was about to tear his hair out, an idea hit him in the face, and it lit up in an instant.

''KONAN!'' He shrieked.

Konan came running through the door frame, with her hair messed up.'Must be the boredom mutilating us. I don't even want to see the image of me and Konan without hair.'

''What do you want?'' She said rather grumpily. Pein couldn't help but squirm under the glares she was throwing at him.

''Uhm.. Well... It's really boring here, and I thought we've been slaving away our time for those leeches, working for the shelter and food and such. So I've decided that we both deserve a vacation.'' He was expecting a big grin but all he got was a horrified expression.

''You realize that they're gonna trash the entire base, right?'' The blue haired woman said. Pein knew it the second he got that idea, but who said that eight S-class criminals can't develop some maturity?

''Nah, they're old enough to take advise from they're dear leader. Do you remember last time we were going out for dinner? They were perfect!''

**Flashback**

_''Okay now brats, me and Konan are going out for dinner, and I want you to be eight cute little murderers and BEHAVE while we are out. Is that clear?'' _

_''What, un? We are old enough to live on our own! You don't have to tell us that!''_

_''Considering your level of maturity, I don't think you guys are even aware of what you do in your free time.''_

_''Free time my ass. When do we even get fucking free time while we get assinged a mission the second we open our Jashin damned eyes?''_

_''I don't give a paper. This is what comes with being an Akatsuki. So please let Pein finish so we can get out of this damn rat hole already.'' Konan shot Kakuzu a deadly glare for refusing to let them buy a better base. The old money whore..._

_''Back to the point. If I see _**one **_thing out of place, you can forget about the deal we made about buying a new flat screen TV.''_

_''Gladly...''_

_**''SHUT UP, KAKUZU!''**_

**End flashback**

''And you remember what we saw when we came back to the base, right?'' Konan asked, shivering at the memory.

**Flashback**

_Calling the place a base would be a sin. EVERYTHING was ragged, destroyed, shredded or gone._

_The chairs were broken to at least 500 bits, the couch was a sea of cotton on the floor, the rag was burnt alive, the entire place reeked of burnt vegetables, the walls had giant holes on them and all the plants in the base were either dead or in Zetsu's private green house, hidden away from danger. _

_Well, at least he **tried** getting them hidden from danger, but failed, because the green house now looked like what you can call burnt effluent._

_Tobi was running around with Deidara, who looked like he had a stick up his ass and couldn't take it out, in his track. Tobi was oblivious to the deadly aura coming from the front door, and kept running, but unfortunately, Deidara saw the faces of Pein and Konan, and went unconscious, because of the view that would visit him in his nightmares for weeks._

**End flashback**

''That was long ago, I'm sure they learnt to not repeat it this time!'' The pierced jinchuriki obsessed leader said, sounding not-so-entirely-sure.

''Thats bullshit. And now that we brought up the last time we went out, why do I see that flat screen TV in the living room?'' The kunoichi said.

''Well, uhm... Damn it's not my fault that they are stupid! I needed that TV too!''

After 5 minutes Konan gave in. She agreed with Pein about the vacation, but she really didn't want to come back to see the base in chaos. Not to mention the sight of Kakuzu shrieking in pain about the money they have to spend to fix the base, and Zetsu looking like he was going to grill them all for killing his plants. But a kunoichi needed some time to rest from all the hell that came with being an Akatsuki, so she looked forward to being out on vacation with Pein. Not to mention the fact that they were going to a new tourist village and a nice luxury hotel with a huge swimming pool!

Pein gathered all the members for a meeting, glaring at them like there was no tomorrow. Honesly, they were the reasons for all of his problems, nightmares, headaches and lack of sleep.

Growls could be heard when Tobi entered, and unlike the others that looked very disgruntled, he was as hyper as ever.

''Alright, now that your all here, I'll get to the point. AND if I hear anyone as much as growls, I'll make sure that person gets his punishment.'' Punishment meaning staying in a room full of rainbows and unicorns with Tobi talking about how beautifull life was. Everyone, excluding Tobi and Zetsu who was used to it, being Tobi's partner, shuddered.

''Ok, here goes...'' He coughed.

''Me and Konan are going on a vacation for three weeks.'' The feared leader of Akatsuki said, earning looks that reeked of ''Are you shitting me(,un)?''

''No I'm not shitting you. I expect you to behave and take care of the base, unless you want a repeat of the little incident last time..'' If looks could kill, there would be no Akatsuki members beside Pein and Konan, because the look Pein had on at that moment could make Yamato shit his pants.

''Alright..Have fun, I guess...?'' The redheaded Sasori said, knowing not to start his moves before Pein and Konan were out of the base. He was relieved to actually have a three weeks free time to finish some of his puppets and work out a little plan that had the lines of ''Kill Deidara and live in peace''.

Pein shot him a suspicious look but let it go. He needed some carefree time regardless the consequences.

''When we come back I want to see the base either the same or better. Finding the base looking like Hidan's room would not be tolerated.''

''Hey! It's not my fault you fuckers won't let me do my sacrifices somewhere else besides my room! And besides, it's Kakuzu's room too!'' The loudmouth said, or rather shouted.

''At least I tidy it once in a while.''

''Bullshit, I never see you doing that. I guess it's because of the fact that you can't bend down without cracking your old rotten back!''

''Maybe it's because of the fact that the minute you step in the room you ruin it back to how it looked.''

''WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?'' Yelled a very pissed Pein. He hated being interrupted, and thanks to the two immortal's constant bickering, it always happens.

''Someones PMS'ing'' Muttered a certain blond bomber.

''Look whose talking...'' Deidara chose to ignore the redheads comment, thought it still pissed him off.

''You are forbidden to go out of the base, because we don't want you to start a war with some random village that you either blew up(Deidara),robbed(Kakuzu), ate(Zetsu) or decided to destroy it's zoos and bring home their fish(Kisame). And knowing you guys wont handle it by yourself regardless of your age, the best option is staying in the base.'' Pein finished with a look that just dared anyone to protest, but of course, it went on blind eyes, almost literally.

''What if I had some important business to attend to? Orochimaru is trying to ''have Sasuke's body''.'' Asked the weasel, a.k.a Itachi. He was slowly losing his sight, due to the Mangekyo Sharingan's effects. But he still hated the mere thought of that pedophile as much as looking at his foolish little brother.

''I bet Orochimaru already raped the dumbass, it wouldn't hurt to wait a little longer to rescue him. And don't even think about disobeying me. Rule number 1: Dont desobey leader. Now I don't care if you all have anything else to say. The meeting is over.'' Pein said, a little impatiently. He wanted to get the hell out and live his life without those rats annoying him once he stepped out of his room.

They just sat there, staring at him blankly as if telling him ''You must have finally lost your mind, if you even have one (,un).''

''What the hell are you waiting for? DISMISSED!''

They stayed...

''Okay I'll listen! What is it?''

''I need to get out to sacrifice something to Jashin-sama!''

_**''We need to eat!''**_

''I need to buy Tylenol!''

''I need material for my puppets!''

''Hn''

''I need to capture fish for my collection!''

''I need clay to make my speciall clay, un!''

''Tobi is a good boy!''

''Okay your done, now get the hell out!''

Grumbles were heard as they exited, but Pein just ignored them.

''Oh how fun it's going to be! To finally get the bliss of being free from their nagging!'' Konan squealed.

''Yea, but I still have a bad feeling about this...''

END CHAPTER 1

Okay so now the first thing I'll say is PLEASE REVIEW! They make me want to write more and hopefully I will be able to continue this story with the help of your reviews and advices, so feel free to say anything you want! And if you want something to happen, you can tell me what it is, who it will occurs on and who is involved and I'll do my best!

One last thing. PLEASE REVIEW!

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just want to say that, Moyasu-uisuka, thank you, so much T_T. Your the one that made me update this the same day i published the first chapter. I LOVE YOU. Your review made my day :'). It's the fist review for this story :D.**

**Okay so everything that happens in this story are basically just coming out of my mind when I type. I haven't even planned what is going to happen but I hope you will like the ideas in my mind XD. And i just want to tell you that it's 02:00 at night right now =_=.**

**Disclaimer: Call me Masashi Kishimoto and I'll give you a Naruto edition based on Yaoi rather than stupid Sasuke...**

**~ Good luck Pein-sama..~**

The Akatsuki were gathered on the front door. Some of them were exited to finally get free for three weeks (Pein and Konan), some were exited to finally skip the damned missions that hunts them everyday (Deidara,Sasori,Zetsu,Kisame), someone was already having evil plans ahead, centered about something involving ''Pein's office'' and ''Destroy'' (Hidan) , someone was about to cry for the obvious amount of money that will be spent on the trip (Kakuzu), someone was just staring expressionlessly, but obviously was chuckling evilly inside his head(Itachi), and someone was hugging the life out of Pein and Konan.

''Tobi will miss both of you! He will never forget you. Please don't forget about Tobi!''

''Yeah yeah. It's just three damn weeks anyway. So now... Zetsu, since you are the one I trust most here, I'll give you this paper. The rules are written in here and you are responsible if anyone brakes them.'' And with that, the leader of Akatsuki and his angel turned their backs and walked. Without any kinds of ''Good byes''. Life is good...

''Fucking hooligans...'' ''**Why do we have to be the responsible anyway?'' ''**Let's just check out the rules.'' Zetsu started reading the paper, fighting the urge to shove it down the toilet.

**The rules that will place you in hell if broken :**

**Do not enter Pein and Konan's room. (Hidan is in danger)**

**Replace Deidara's clay with a normal one. **

_**NEVER **_**let Tobi have access to **_**any **_**kind of candy.**

**Do not let Kakuzu find the secret stash of our savings. (Only Pein and Zetsu knows of it)**

**Do not try to get in the way of Kakuzu and Hidan's bickering. (It will get worse)**

**Do not let Sasori see a Pinocchio movie.**

**If you failed rule number 6, get Kakuzu to seal Hidan's big mouth shut.**

**Do not kill/eat/blow up/make a puppet out of any of the members. **

**Do not cause a mess.**

**If mess occurs, fix it immediately.**

**You do not have the right to steal Leader-sama's name.**

**With hate,**

**Pein**

**PS: If anyone finds the new box ice cream, save some for me or be met with worse than death!**

''This is going to be hard...''

Later that day, everyone went separate ways, doing somethings from glaring at a Sasuke picture to stuffing their faces with junk food. Two immortal partners were sitting on the couch at the time, and for once not fighting. Hidan had nothing to do, so he decided to check out the new flat screen TV. He didn't have time to do it since everyone was hogging it. Kakuzu was just as bored, but decided to just watch.

_''It's a nice zoo, eh Cindy?''_

_''Yeah it is. And oh my God look at those beautiful creatures right there! What are they called?''_

_''They are called deer...''_

And before Kakuzu knew it, the TV blew up in front of his face. He watched in horror as it burnt down, and lunged on a certain Jashinist's neck to strangle him to unconsciousness (As much as Kakuzu likes to deny it, the annoying ape just wouldn't die).

Right at that moment, Deidara walked into the living room, and saw something that just reeked of upcoming death for an unfortunate and innocent soul that just happened to be there.

''_**OH MY CLAY, **_**what the fuck do you guys think your doing to our hard earned TV!''**

Soon the two immortals found themselves sitting on the floor of the living room. Both of them receiving deadly glares from the other members, especially Kisame, who didn't like the idea of missing a day of Shark Week.

''Okay now why in the hole did you wreck the TV?'' Asked a very pissed of Sasori.

''Don't glare at me, he did it.'' The stitched old man said, pointing at Hidan, who was decapitated. They couldn't find another way of stopping him from destroying the entire base.

''It's not my fault I had a problem with those fucking ugly things since I was buried alive and guarded by them! And besides, I don't think the TV would have lived longer than 3 days anyway, and you guys know it.''

''Yeah yeah... But still were doomed when Pain-sama comes back...'' Kisame said, being one of the people who really hated the punishments Pein handed out.

''I wonder what kind of TV we will be getting next, un''

''Are you insane? No way I'm letting you pigs spend more money on things you destroy before you even get something out of. You should really learn the importance of money! It's a very valuable thing that needs to be kept safe and counted everyday! You have no idea how much money...'' And he continued his ranting, regardless of the sighs braking out of seven mouths.

'And this is just the beginning. Imagine the troubles they are gonna give birth to in three entire weeks! And we are responsible!' '**Responsible my ass. I could care less about the responsibility. All we have to do is stay out of trouble. Got it?' **'I'm not your slave...' **'Yeah yeah...'**

Not so late after, trouble reared it's ass out again, and they were arguing of what to eat for lunch.

''What the fuck? What the hell do you mean ''we are eating liver''? WE ARE EATING FUCKING RIBS!''

''Dream on,un. I want roasted chicken!''

''Who cares for what you want, brat?''

''Tobi is a good boy.''

''You can all stave to death, while I eat my dango, hn.''

''But Itachi! I'm your partner and lover! You can't do this to me!''

''_Lover?'' _Everyone In the room eyed the shark and the weasel disbelievingly.

''Eh..well..It's a long story but I didn't mean it but...''

''Yes, we are lovers. And I don't think we are the only ones here...''

Itachi shot a look at Deidara and Sasori, who were winking to each other until they saw him, and blushed furiously.

''I can't fucking believe it. You guys are gay? And Sasori and Deidara too? Don't tell me your gay for that fucking buffoon too, Zetsu!'' Hidan yelled, as always not bothering to lower down his voice. Zetsu shot him a glare, but it went to no veil as the Jashinist saw the blush on his face, and started laughing his ass off.

''Could this day get any worse?'' **''I don't even want to know what is waiting for us the next 21 days...''**

Meanwhile Pein and Konan were having the time of their lives, all bad feelings went ignored as they arrived at the heaven in front of them.

Everything was perfect. The hotel was wonderful and charming, with a red carpet and white couches that just screamed ''I'm so soft''. The decorations were so beautifully set and the huge bed in their room waited patiently for them.

''Konan, my angel! We are finally here! Look at this heaven!'' Pein couldn't believe it. Maybe being stuck with a bunch of immature and insane S-class criminals in a cave has taken away his sanity. But honestly, who could blame him? He hasn't seen, let alone been in, such a luxurious place in a _long time_, and seeing his precious Konan this happy about it added to his out-of-character happiness.

''Pein, I love you so much! I'm sure we will have so much fun here! Thank you for coming up with this vacation idea. We really deserve it!''

Later at night at the Akatsuki base, the once normal and typical kitchen morphed into a copy of how the ancient city Pompeii looked like after the volcano disaster. Everything was burnt to the point of being mistaken for a pile of cowshit. The oh-so-smart Hidan got hit by the idea of just letting everyone cook whatever they wanted, and them never having cooked something since they joined Akatsuki (Konan always cooked, she didn't think they would hesitate to put something deadly in the food), they burnt down the entire kitchen in failed attempts at working out how to use the stove.

They were huddled in their rooms at the time, and each one of them was aware that Pein would much likely eat them for breakfast now.

**Deidara and Sasori's room**

''Danna, un. I don't think we are going to live enough to see the day you propose to me, or the day when we will start a food war with our marriage cake, or the day we raise a cute child, or the day we...''

''Shut up, brat. I'm trying to sleep.''

''You don't sleep,un.''

''Yes, but I can still be tired and need some rest and some alone time without your annoying voice ringing in my ears.''

''Yeah yeah...'' Sasori didn't miss the slight sadness in the blond's voice and in his handsome face, and he felt a little guilty.

''Dei, come here for a second.''

''Okay, un. Now what do you wa- Whoa! Danna...'' Deidara was a little surprised at Sasori's decision to out of the blue hug him.

''Tell me why you are sad.''

''I'm not sad,un!''

''Dei...''

''Okay okay, un! It's just that...You always treat me like I'm some kind of an unwanted baby. It's not that it bothers me or anything... but I want it to change since we are lovers now, un!''

''But that way our relationship would lose it's charm.''

''Huh?'' Asked a slightly confused but beautiful blond. He always thought Sasori was mean to him because he thought that he was annoying, but hearing Sasori saying he was thinking about their relationship shocked him a little, but it brought up a warm and comforting feeling inside him.

''You know, It's just like how Hidan and Kakuzu are. If Hidan wasn't foulmouthed and stubborn, and Kakuzu wasn't greedy and bossy, there would be no bickering that holds the tension between them. I'm sure Hidan is currently praying to that god of his to get Kakuzu, and I always see Kakuzu shooting Hidan glances that were other than glaring. It's the same way with us. If I didn't treat you the way I am, it would seem like we aren't as alive as we are right now. So shut the hell up and let me rest now.''

Deidara felt his cheeks heat up. He loved Sasori so much, and now extra love was added from the words that he just said. He doesn't know why, but he felt like those words meant more to him than the words ''I love you''. He headed to his bed, not before giving Sasori a loving kiss on the lips, and crept under the blankets.

''Goodnight, Sasori no Danna.''

''Goodnight, brat.''

And for once, Deidara smiled at the nickname.

**End chapter 2**

PLEASE REVIEW! It really means so much to me! It gives me ideas,happiness, jumpiness and more! Knowing that people actually cares to read this story and reviewing it is what makes me go on! I LOVE YOU GUYS :'D And just like the previous time, feel free to tell me if you have any ideas you'd like to put the Akatsuki through ;). If so, then tell me what it is, who it occurs on, and who is involved. I'll do my best :3.

PS: After every chapter, I will add some fluff at the end (just like this one with Dei and Sasori) to every other partners, including Pein and Konan. I hope you like it!

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello! This is the 3rd chapter of the fic :D. I don't know how many chapters there gonna be but there are gonna be more than 5 :D. I have a lot of free time (unlike Akatsuki XD) and I can write whatever time I want. Thank Jashin XD. **

**Disclaimer: I can't even understand why people has to write this thing! Who believes that Kishimoto would be in this site instead of finishing Naruto x_X.**

**~ unununununu ~**

Itachi woke up to a raging headache, a sore back, bad eyesight and the sound of Kisame's snoring. Every time he heard that sound the first thing that comes to his mind is ''Someone is choking a kitty''. Those damn gills...

Once he sat up, the headache doubled, and he had to rub his temples in pain. He was sure that the sound of the stove blowing up yesterday is what caused it.

**Flashback**

_''Hey, un. Do you guys remember how to turn on this thing?''_

_''I thought girls knew how to use a stove, brat.''_

_''Sasori-Danna! I'm not a girl, un!''_

_''Whatever, fags. Shouldn't the temperature be based on what's being cooked?'' _

_''Congratulations on knowing that, idiot.''_

_''Damn it, Kakuzu! Shut up!''_

_''What are we cooking anyway?'' Kisame was very hungry. He was planning on filling the gape in his stomach with junk food, but that plan got flushed down the toilet by a junk food obsessed blond that ate all the junk food in the base. Kisame found himself wondering how the blond kept his fit form..._

_''I can't believe it. I've joined an organization full of idiots who doesn't even know how to use a stove. You guys lack brains...''_

_''Well then, Uchiha! I'd like to see you trying, un!''_

_''Hn.'' Itachi may have sounded confident and as emotionless as ever, but he was mentally slapping himself at the moment. Itachi didn't even touch a stove since he joined the Akatsuki, and now the only option that came to his mind was using his Fire element Jutsu._

_And lets just say the stove had ''some'' gas in it..._

**End flashback**

''Damn it...'' He muttered, trying to ignore the sound of his bones cracking. The stove incident was one of the most exhausting experiences he'd witnessed. He and the others had to try and fix the kitchen in fear of the leaders fat wrath, but halfway they decided that they are doomed for wrecking the TV anyway, so why try?

He carefully stepped out of his room, trying to avoid any other member. Why, you'd ask? Itachi knew very well, that there was noway any of the fools in Akatsuki would pass out an opportunity to pop a prank on your face the second you stepped out of your room (And he knew fully well that they were aware that the pranks they make are deadly). He remember one time when Hidan slept in, and once he stepped out of his room yawning, Dediara sent one of his clay birds flying into the immortals mouth. The Jashinist was lucky he was immortal, because Dediara didn't hesitate to blow up his mouth. But Itachi has to admit it was funny watching the blond bomber screaming and running for his life, with a bloody and jawless immortal in his track, ready to tear him limb from limb.

So basically, in Akatsuki, you have to trust **only** yourself, because even your partner will look for a chance to shove a dirty sock down your throat.

And for the headache, he'd have to steal some of Kakuzu's Tylenol...

Tobi was currently sitting in the garden, enjoying the fresh air and the sight of happy birds flying around and chasing each other. They somehow reminded him of Zetsu and himself. No, they weren't in a relationship, as much as Tobi would like it, but he felt like Zetsu felt some kind of affection for him. Really, Zetsu was the only one who put up with Tobi's annoying antics. He was the only one who didn't try to get rid of him (only threaten him). Tobi decided that it was time that he finally showed his feelings, which he gained when he first saw the bipolar attitude, the soft green locks and the cozy looking flytrap. He was perfect in Tobi's eyes, and tonight, he will finally put his feelings to the test.

Pein woke up feeling happier than usual, finding himself on a comfortable bed with warmth radiating from his lover. They had a very.._interesting_.. night, and he decided that those three weeks would contain the best times in his life.

He looked at his sleeping angel, Konan, who was smiling in her sleep. She did that rather a lot, and he was satisfied to having heard her murmur his name once or twice in her sleep before. He praised himself for thinking up the brilliant idea of the vacation and stood up to take a hot shower in their big, nice smelling, new bathroom.

Back in the base, our two favorite immortal partners were sitting on their beds, bored, and too tired to get up and get something done. Hidan was laying on his back with his arms behind his head, thinking about something that doesn't usually cross his mind.

'So, the entire Akatsuki is love with their partners... Am I like that?..Wait NO. It can't be. Not for this old fart! I'm sure it's just friendly affection. Yea, fuck love. Me and Kakuzu are great friends...'

'...Who are you kidding, Hiddy? You've been having thoughts about him that shouldn't be witnessed by kids. Stop your denial and jump him!'

'Shut the fuck up! I'm no fagot! Your the one in denial!'

'You don't even realize that I'm you, do you?'

'No, your just some fucking bug that somehow found it's way into my brain. Now get the hell out!'

'Yeah yeah...Idiot...'

''Hidan...'' Hidan perked up. He didn't notice he was spacing out.

''Yeah?''

''You know...Since we don't have any missions the next three weeks, I've decided that I should try to teach you math.''

''..._What?''_

''You remember the time that I asked you how much four plus five were?''

''That was long ago! I know the fucking answer now, it's 10!''

''…''

''11..?''

''…''

''...Okay, how are you going to teach me?''

''Tobi has those book from his old...''

''NO, SOMETHING ELSE DAMN IT!''

''Alright...How about I teach you how to count with your fingers?''

''You make it sound like I'm a fucking brat!''

''If I weren't being nice right now I'd be teasing you for your nonexistent knowledge. You better be thankfull.''

''Yeah yeah...'' Hidan rolled his eyes, but inside he was actually happy he could finally know something about math, and that Kakuzu actually cares enough to wanting to teach him. Not to mention the chance to touch...

'Wait NO! Damn it! I didn't mean...'

'Face it, Hiddy! Your in love, boy!'

'You again? Shut the fuck up! And I'm not in love with that rotten old fossilized cow!'

Meanwhile a certain redheaded Pinocchio was sitting in his room, pleased that he finally gotten Deidara out of his room so he could finally work in peace. Hiruko was broken, due to the brat making a fit about how Itachi was mocking his ''art'' last week. Pft, the brat doesn't even know what true art is! Art is eternal beauty! And no, by eternal beauty he didn't mean Hidan ( XD). Speaking of the idiot, Sasori wondered if Hidan had any talent in art, but quickly shook it of, knowing the Jashinist didn't even know what the word meant.

He tried to continue working, but spaced out thinking about his relationship with the blond brat. He loved Deidara very much, even thought he would never say it out load. He loved how over dramatic he was and how he believed in the fake fact that ''art is fleeting'', which is wrong, of course.

However, one thing he didn't like about the blond was his catchphrase. That dreaded ''un'' just wont leave him alone. It gives him headaches, it haunts his sleep, he can't even think properly when hearing it! It drives him insane. It was then that a little lamp popped up above the puppets head, and a chibi Sasori was making a victory dance.

'I'll just eventually come up with a plan that hinders the brat of saying _it. _Kukukuku...'(I actually tried laughing like that, and I'll give you one advise : Don't try it, you'll scare yourself :L.)

**Tobi and Zetsu's room**

It was finally night time, and it's time for Tobi to be put to the test. He won't lie, he was as nervous as hell, not to mention the fear of being rejected. Thought he doubted it, Zetsu was after all a very kind man/plant/cannibal.

He looked at him, and saw him out of his flytrap, laying on the bed and obviously ready for sleep. Tobi decided to hurry up. 'Here goes...'

''Uhm...Zetsu-san? Can you sit up so Tobi can talk to you?''

''Huh? Alright.'' **''What do you want, dumbass?'' **Tobi wasn't affected by Zetsu's black side. Even if it said mean things, it was still caring and kind. For him at least.

''Tobi wants to ask you something.''

''Go on.''

Tobi was aware that he had no mask on, and was blushing furiously. But he has to do this, so he just went on.

''...Tobi wants to know if you like him.''

''_...What?'' _**''Eh...If I liked you? Well.. I guess it's complicated but...'' **''We've been discussing about that lately...We are not exactly sure. So uhm...Why'd you ask?''

''Tobi always feels butterflies in his stomach when he is with Zetsu-san. So Tobi did research on why that happens to Tobi. He went to the library and asked for a book about it. The librarian told Tobi it was in shelf...''

**''Forget about the effin' details!''**

''Okay, so Tobi got the answer that it was caused by something called love. Tobi didn't know what it was, so he went back to the librarian and asked for a book about it. The librarian told Tobi it was in shelf...''

**_''FORGET THE DETAILS ALREADY!''_**

''...TOBI IS IN LOVE WITH ZETSU-SAN!'' Tobi blurted out of nowhere. He was shocked that he just said it like that, but a part of him felt relief that he finally managed to take the huge weight off of his back. He looked at Zetsu, and saw a cute expression of bewilderment, complimented by an adorable but light blush.

Before Tobi knew it, he was laying on his back with Zetsu above him, and he was completely surprised when the other man bent down and kissed him softly on the lips. Tobi felt a heat rush down through his entire body, but he already knew what it was.

That book was a very good trump card...

**End chapter 3**

**Oh my god I'm so exhausted =_=. All I want right now is sleep, but the damn dinner is taken too long and my stomach is a traitor... **

**And as always, PLEASE REVIW! It'd mean so much to me :'). I'm too tired to write anymore things. But I just want you to know I always update as fast as I can :D. **

**And reviews gives me energy and courage, so please review!**

**Thank you.**

_Winnie The Fatty _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First of all, those who reviewed, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART! C':. Your wonderful reviews made me more hyper than Tobi :D. (or maybe it's because of the huge amount of Pepsi I drank? :L.)**

**And ****Moyasu-uisuka, I love you, so much, that there's no words for it :'3. I'm Kakuzu and your my money XD.**

**Okay so I find it really hard to find inspiration. Hopefully the things I have in my brain can entertain someone ;o. AND BY THE WAY! I want to know if you guys want a lemon on one of the upcoming chapters ;9. If so, you can send me a review and tell me who you want to be the victims and I'll write it :D. PS: My first lemon, but hopefully reading as much lemons as I have read is a little useful, eh? ;).**

**~ Itachi ate a fish, Kisame ate a weasel ~ (Don't ask me were that came from, Cause I have no idea :L.)**

_Kakuzu was laying on Hidan's bed, panting and moaning his name as the Jashinist thrusted and groaned. _

_''Hidan!'' Kakuzu groaned as he got into blissful release. Hidan felt Kakuzu tighten around his shaft, and he was also about to..._

''...Hidan.''

''GAAAH!'' He screeched, staring at Kakuzu with a horrified expression and a face with a strong shade of red that would put Sasori's hair to shame.

''You were murmuring in you sleep.''

''W-what? I w-were...eh..praying! Yeah, a morning prayer!''

''Then why was my name involved?'' Kakuzu smirked under his mask. He was highly amused by the expression on the Jashinist's face when he said that. Time to let the idiotic mutt get a taste of true humiliation! A chance for Kakuzu to get revenge on the immortal for blackmailing him in his sleep.

**Flashback**

_Hidan slowly crept on the floor of the livingroom, camera in hand, and trying to be as stealthy as possible to not wake up the sleeping old fart on the couch. He pressed the ''on'' button on the camera and started to film, trying to hold his laughter as the stitched man began to sing in his sleep._

_''If I was a rich girl, na na na na na na na na na...'' (Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani)._

**End flashback**

''I-I was praying for Jashin-sama that he one beautiful day would make you fall off the fucking stairs! Now get out, you old hag!''

''Well, tell Jashin-sama that I wish him good luck.''

''FUCK OFF, KAKUZU!'' The waterfall nin chuckled as he made his way out of the room.

'Yo, Hiddy! That was so hot, man! I'm so proud of you!'

'Who the fuck are you and why don't you just get the hell out of my brain?'

'I'm the honest side of your brain that tells you your in a dangerous state of denial. And if I abandoned your brain it would be half the size of it's current size, and judging by the fact that your brain is half as big as an idiot's it isn't a good idea for me to leave you.'

'Go eat an ass. I'm goin' back to sleep.'

'But it's 1 in the afternoon!'

'Ask me if I care...'

'Well then I bet you just want to go back to sleep to continue you naughty dream about Kakuzu...'

'NO! I'M GETTING UP!'

'Thats the spirit, bro!'

Meanwhile Kisame was bored into oblivion. He cursed Hidan for killing the TV and walked randomly around the base. Once he reached the door of his and Itachi's room, he opened it gracefully and slammed the door just for the heck of it. He spotted something on Itachi's bed and walked down to the bed to grab it. It was a photo of a baby Sasuke in a diaper. He saw a number on the back side with a ''Sasuke's phone number'' written beside it. 'Itachi must have stalked the kid again..'

The shark grinned a toothy grin as an idea hit him, and he walked down the hallway to have some fun using the phone the Akatsuki shared. He clicked down the numbers and pressed ''call''. A click could be heard before an annoying and shrill voice spoke up.

_''Hello? Who is it?''_

''Oh, I am Mr. Sharkrulestheworld. Can you please hand me Uchiha Sasuke?'' Kisame said, using a fake deep voice.

_''Sure, I'll bring him. By the way I am Uzumaki Naruto. I hope we could meet someday so that you can see how worthy of the title 'Hokage' I...''_

''Shut the fu... I mean can you please hurry up I need to talk to Sasuke-kun.''

_''Oh, alright.'' _Naruto turned around and yelled for Sasuke to come. Soon came a disgruntled looking Uchiha with hair that resembled a duck's ass. He snatched the phone from the blond idiot and spoke.

_''Who is it?''_

'Oho, he and Itachi sure are alike...'

''Hello, Uchiha. I am a member of the infamous Akatsuki Pizza Delivery. We have gotten spam calls from your phone lately and came to the answer that you must be very needy of pizza. Right Sir?

_''What? Akatsuki Pizza Delivery?'' _Sasuke found the 'Akatsuki' name rather familiar, and he was suspected that name came once from his hated elder brother's mouth, so he wanted to make sure.

_''Do you know an Uchiha that works there?'' _

''Oh, you mean Itachi? That cow has been slacking off with his job ever since he married the beautiful Kisama and started a cute family.''

Sasuke smirked. _''Than I shall hunt down hi- **A FAMILY?'**' _Naruto could have sworn he saw Sasuke's eyes turn green.

Kisame had a very difficult time fighting off his laughter. ''Yupp. He now has 5 adorable kids. You should learn from your brother, and follow his steps, Sir.'' Kisame could practically feel the killer intent, and he couldn't take it anymore, so he cut off the call and began roaring with laughter.

As for Pein and Konan, they couldn't even remember that they had left a bunch of brainless barbarians alone in their base, and they enjoyed every second of the luxury handed o them. They were at the hotsprings at the time, and they were relaxing, thanking God for the beautiful life.

''Aaaah, those hotsprings would be really nice when your stressed.'' The bluette said. She have never been this relaxed before.

The word ''stressed'' brought Pein to the memories of his days in Akatsuki, which was as stressful as something could be. He found himself wondering what the apes where up to.

''Do you think they haven't caused a mess yet?'' He asked, even thought he already knew the answer.

''That is impossible.''

''I knew it.''

Sasori was huddled in his room, fixing some of the remaining cracks of Hiruko's back. Once he was satisfied he tested it. The redhead connected his chakra strings to Hiruko's body, and began moving his fingers, expecting it to move with him. However, it strangely didn't. Counfused, he checked everything that needed to be right so the puppet can be able to move. It was all perfectly set. He moved his fingers again. He looked at it one more time and found something white and sticky (No, it isn't what your perverted minds think it is XD).

He blinked as he leaned his face closer to the sticky material and to take a closer look...

*_**Boooom* **_

Sasori's face turned black as Hiruko blew up in his face, along with all the spent time and hard work he gave up for it. Once the explosion was over, and evil cackle complimented by a few ''un''s could be heard, and Sasori practically felt smoke streaming out of his ears.

''_**DEIDARAAAAAAAAAAAAA!''**_

**Itachi and Kisame's room**

Kisame was still giggling from the phone prank incident earlier, and Itachi became quite curious of what made his manly shark partner giggle like a lovestruck schoolgirl. He came to a realization that it might be him the shark was laughing at, and the Itachi we know _loves _to get laughed at.

''What's so funny, Fishstick?'' He said in his usual cold voice.

''I...I talked with y..your little brother..today..'' Kisame said between giggles.

''You talked with Sasuke? How so?''

''The phone.''

''Oh. You saw that photo, didn't you?''

''You should be more careful were you put your ''important'' stuff. SUCH AS THAT HOT PICTURE OF YOUR BABY BROTHER IN THE DIAPER!'' Kisame broke down, laughing his ass off with tears in his eyes.

''Shut up, or I will kill you, Kisame!'' Said the weasel, and unusual red color on his face.

''I bet you masturbate with that picture in your mind, eh? And you call Orochimaru pedophile...''

''Its nothing wrong with keeping a picture of your little brother when he was a child! It's called memories!''

''Oh? That's wired. In my family they didn't even buy me diapers.''

''Go to hell, Kisame...''

''We're all going to hell... By the way, you should have seen the reaction of your little brother when I told him you started a family! It was hilarious!''

''Foolish little brother. Did he really expect me to start a family?''

''Don't you want to? I thought we made a deal about adopting a child after we get married!''

''Oh, I forgot that.''

''Itachi...''

''Alright...I just hate children, with their annoying whiny acts, and big creepy eyes. Don't you think we should just live on our on?''

''But...Well, I guess your right. Besides, I don't want the child to end up doing what you did. Kill the clan, you know...''

''Shut up, Kisame...''

''Love you too, Itachi, love you too...''

**End chapter 4**

**I had so much fun writing the phone prank part XD. Anyway, I think this fic is gonna be 21 chapters long, since 3 weeks are 21 days :3. But I will need reviews to have some hope with this fic, so please oh please review! **

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey again :D. Here you got chapter 5! Good thing I have much free time and can update everyday :3. Anyway, thanks for the reviews! There is no words that can describe how much they mean to me :'). **

**So yeah, I'm pretty much dead right now, tired as shit. I've been in my weekly Gym and I've trained like a dog. Well, at least it makes you a little fit XD.**

**~ feihwnfilanmdjaknjdlka ~**

Zestu woke up at 7 to the new sunny day. Although he was exhausted from yesterdays events. The cannibal had to chase Sasori around the base, who was chasing after Deidara with killer intent. He spent half an hour to try and calm the puppet down, but he had to admit that it was funny seeing the redhead with a black face and a red, burnt Afro hairstyle. After that he had to go and buy groceries, because the kitchen ran out of food, and he had to do it secretly so the others wont see him go outside, being forbidden to leave the base. However, on the way back to the base he had the misfortune to stumble upon Orochimaru and his boy toys...Uhm...servants. It wasn't hard escaping them, but they wanted to cause some trouble, so they stole all of the grocerybags, who was laying innocently on the floor were Zetsu forgot them, and poofed away.

So he had to go back to the market and buy another ton of food, and he knew that sooner or later Kakuzu would find out how much money he spent and make a fit. As soon as he came back to the base he headed for his bed and fell asleep the second he hit the pillow.

So now he was currently in the kitchen, lazy and tired, and decided to eat the only thing in the base that didn't need to get cooked : Yogurt. The precious.

It didn't need to get heated. Just pull the lid, grab a spoon and stuff you face. He stood up from his chair and walked over to the fridge, and spotted the beautiful pink and white plastic, with the letters ''Your Yummy Yogurt'' written in green. He took it out of the fridge, enjoying the smell of sweet strawberry scent, and grabbed a spoon. He grabbed the tiny tab and pulled. Pulling too hard, it ripped, leaving almost no room for him to grab and try again. Cursing, he tried again, but fate decided to betray him, because the tab ripped to the point where he could no longer get it open.

With a few choice of words, the greenhaired cannibal walked out of the kitchen, and came back with a rod in hand.

With a swift hit, he missed and hit the marble counter. Looking down at it with a glare of utmost loathing, he stabbed again, missing the yogurt cup and hitting the counter. With at least 5 more tries and 5 more failures, he snapped. Grabbing it, he started chewing at the edges and sides, looking like a wild beast, trying to rip it open. 30 minutes had gone by and he still hasn't succeeded getting it open.

Slamming it down, Zetsu did some hand signs required for a Mini Shadow Clone jutsu (I know, it's lame XD). Smoke appeared with a light 'Pop' and a mini little Zetsu stepped out of the smoke. Without a word, Zetsu pointed at the stubborn yogurt. With a head nod the clone hopped to the cup, and began melting until it was inside it. It moved around as if it was dancing, but nothing came out. Tiny squeals came from it, and then silence. Poking the cup, Zetsu realized the clone droned in the yogurt and died.

Pounding his fist into the counter, he cursed and glared at the plastic cup, who kept it's innocent front.

**''Careful, that thing is smarter than it looks...'' **''Much smarter...''

Narrowing his eyes in a scary glare, Zetsu swore on his flytrap's death that he will make sure the yogurt submitted itself to it's master and accepted it's fate. Half an hour left by and the yogurt still didn't give up.

''You are a very strong opponent indeed...'' **''...But we can beat your ridiculous smug glare. Just wait you scrumpy piece of shit... ''**

Right then, Kakuzu walked into the kitchen, and raised an eyebrow at the sight. It was the oddest thing he'd ever witnessed. Thinking he must have finally gone senile, he walked over to the cannibal to take a closer look. The spy of Akatuki was glaring at what looked like a innocent cup of yogurt.

''Uhm...Zet-''

''That thing knows. It knows.'' **''Yes, it knows us, it does.'' **Zetsu said with a serious tone, eyes filled with hate at the demon possessed evil yogurt and glaring sheer death at it.

''Are you okay?'' Kakuzu asked, shocked to find Zetsu of all people doing something made for brainless idiots.

''Why yes of course, but it knows. Its openly mocking us.''

Kakuzu looked over the counter to see marble dust all over the kitchen, and a certain item turned blade open. Again he raised an eyebrow.

''How long have you been sitting here, watching it like that?''

''I don't remember...'' **''...But my stomach hurts.'' **''And this thing doesn't wanna give up. I've been staring at it and it hasn't even blinked yet!''

''You don't glare at yogurt in order to open it, Zetsu...''

**''Then how else are you supposed to open it when the tab thingy is ripped?''**

''…''

Kakuzu sweatdropped and took the spoon that was laying next to the yogurt. Turning it so the handle was facing the lid, he poked a hole on top of it and lifted the lid up and opening the yogurt. He put in on the counter and stared at Zetsu disbelievingly.

''I can't believe it Zetsu, I can't believe it...'' He muttered, shooking his head and smirking.

_**''Shut up!'' **_Zetsu said, wondering what the hell happened to him and made him lose to a dumb cup of yogurt.

Sasori did it. He finally came up with a plan to stop the blond pyromaniac from saying the annoying ''un'' after every fucking sentence he says! He should be getting the Nobel prize for coming up with this wonderful plan.

He dragged Deidara to their room and locked the door, pulling off his arm, putting the key there and putting his arm back. All the while Deidara was confused to why he was dragged and kept locked for no reason. Oh no...Sasori must have been planning to get him back for blowing up Hiruko yesterday!

''SASORI NO DANNA! I'm so sorry! Please don't kill me! I'm still young,un!''

Sasori would have laughed at the blond's idiocy and teased him about it, but hearing that ''un'' made him just want to claw out the blond's brain, cutting off the part where the ''un'' lived and enjoy the death of the idiot, but he loved him too much to do that, so he began.

''I have been putting up with your ''un''s ever since I met you, even thought it annoying the living shit out of me! But now I've decided, I wont tolerate anymore nonsense!'' Sasori began to laugh a typical Evil Scientist laugh, as Deidara waited patiently for him to continue. He coughed and spoke again.

''So I've decided that to stop your ''un''s from invading your entire sentences, I have to make you pay me 5$ for every ''un'' you say.''

''_What, _un?''

''You heard me. Now give me 5$.''

''_NEVER.''_

''Well then I guess I'll just have to tell Kakuzu you spent more than you allowance to buy that disgusting clay of yours...''

''Okay! Okay! Here!'' The bomber shoved the money in Sasori's waiting hands. Sasori smirked, causing Deidara to frown.

''_Bastard, un_''

''...I heard that.5$.''

''DAMN IT, UN!''

''...10$.''

''_**ARGH**_!''

Meanwhile, a certain Jashinist was running down the hallway, grinning from ear to ear. He finally found the key to Pein's office! The idiot shouldn't have left it in the mouth of the King Of Hell statue. Although it was a bit hard to find it...

Once the immortal was in Pein's office, he realized there wasn't much to make a mess out of. The room pretty much was already in a mess. Unfinished paperwork scattered on the floor, rotten applecores laying on the desk, empty potatochip bags were everywhere and the whole office looked like it haven't been dusted the last few years. He immediately turned his back and ran off, not wanting to suffer more by of the stink. However, he was so dazed that he didn't notice someone walking on the in front of him, and ended up running into that person and knocking him to the floor.

He opened his eyes that were automatically closed when he fell, and saw something that made his heart skip several beats.

There lay Kakuzu, maskless, with his long, dark hair loose and wearing only a towel around his waist.

'OH MY FUCKING JASHIN! SOMEBODY SHOOT ME!'

'Breath, Hidan, breath!'

''Uhm...eh..Sorry. I-I didn't see you...eheheh...?'' Hidan said, blushing a deep shade of red.

''Idiot, I could have broke my back right there. Watch where your going next time.'' Kakuzu said, pushing Hidan off of him and heading for their shared room.

''Bastard! I'VE JUST APOLOGIZED TO YOU!''

'No need to get pissy, Hiddy! Chill out!'

'May Jashin just take away my immortality and kill me, because I'd rather fuckin' die than listen to you another minute!'

'Sorry to tell you, but that ain't gonna happen anytime soon. And if you wanna get rid of me, sweetie, than you'll just have to admit your love.'

'I'm not in love with you!'

'Not me you idiot! I'm you! I meant Kakuzu!'

'AND YOU CALL _ME_ BRAINLESS? Think before you fucking say anything, because I'm damn sure I don't have any shitty feelings for that greedy old pig!'

'Sure you don't. It was only a tomato that crashed on your face and made it red, right? And I'm sure I saw you swallow butterflies whole, because that is what is what caused that feeling inside your stomach, right?'

'Shut up! I'm not gay and I sure as hell will never turn gay for that hag!'

'Then turn bi?'

'...I'll just ignore you.'

'I bet you won't last more than a minute.'

'Shut up!'

'I thought you said you'll ignore me?'

'…'

Pein and Konan's hotel room

Konan snuggled closer to Pein, enjoying the warmth of her love. They were both exhausted after the day they had. First they went to a funpark, then they went shopping, sunbathing,surfing and more! All in all, it was great fun. She would never forget these 3 weeks of enjoying herself a little.

Pein was also on the same thinking, but he was still worried about his dear base. He could feel the pain it was going through, with those banshees ruining everything in sight. He'll make sure their gonna pay the price's of their life...Literally for Kakuzu.

''Today was really fun. I seriously regret ever joining Akatsuki when I could be living here and enjoying this heaven everyday...'' Konan started.

''It's not the Akatsuki's fault, its those idiots that ruined our lives! What the hell possessed me and made me agree to let them join. I wonder how I even dare call them members!''

''Your fault. Anyway, what should we do tomorrow?''

''Hmm... I don't know, but the funpark was really fun! I'd like to go there again.''

''You just want to go back there to try to win that teddybear that you couldn't get today...''

''That teddy! I really needed it, but the damned fucker at the desk refused to give it! I bet he cheated! I could see it in his ugly little shitty eyes!''

''He didn't cheat. In fact, your the one who cheated, since you used Shinra Tensei to get the ball on the bottles.''

''Yes, but the bottles still didn't fall!''

''...Maybe because it was because of the fact that you were sugarhigh and didn't aim properly?''

''What? But I'm sure that I hit something! And I felt it bore a hole in it!''

''It was the teddybear...''

''WHAT? _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_!''

**End chapter 5**

**The Zetsu vs The Yogurt part was so difficult to write =_=. It took me almost 2 hours :L. Anyway, I've finally figured out how to use a scanner!(with the help of random google searching, of course) Now I'll just make a Deviant Art and upload my HidaKaku drawings! :D. Lol they are crappy anyways XD.**

**So yeah, REVIEW PLEASE!**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi! I kinda ran out of things to write here, but yah... It's pretty much like the usual.**

**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! I love them with all of my heart :'D.**

**PS: I'm starting to lose hope for this story :(. It always happens with me. Like last time I had an idea of a drawing. I started drawing it but halfway I just dumped it :L. Please tell me if you want this story to keep going. It'll really motivate me to finish it :D.**

**Well, start chapter 6!**

**~Lalali Lalala ~ (Windows gets broken)**

Tobi sat up from his frog shaped bed, ready to face the day head first. He did his usual morning routine. Take a shower, brush teeth, wake everyone up, dodge a kick or two by Deidara, and hold hands with Zetsu, which Zetsu protested at, but unfortunately he had no option, unless he wanted to spend at least 2 hours apologizing to a weeping Tobi, who probably thought he wanted to brake up with him.

The orange masked shrimp headed towards the kitchen, with the intention of finally being able to open the new Lucky Charms cereal box and hopefully win something. He rushed into the kitchen, ignoring Hidan as the Jashinist was murmuring things in selfpity (and denial, of course). He grabbed the box, unaware that he was almost pressing the cereal out of it, and ripped the box open. He dag into the poor box like a beaver, and just poured the entire cereal on a giant bowl when he realized it was easier that way. He continued digging, even though he already got an answer, and kept denying it. He digged for more than 5 minutes and finally calmed down. He eyed the messy bowl of cereal with crazed red eyes, and disbelievingly shook his head.

The cereal box was empty of anything to win. Not even a little medal!

Tobi was furious. He decided to take out his anger on the poor cereal, eating it like a wild Zetsu who hasn't eaten anyone for ages. However, the Akatsuki members made the wrong choice of letting a Lucky Charms cereal, which was filled with sugar, get into the paws of Tobi.

But now its too late, pal...

**$#*&%**

The base was a complete ruin. People who thought it was already a mess should rethink. The Akatsuki members were gathered in the safe emergency room. They watched in pain and horror from the slightly opened door as Tobi eliminated everything in sight. They were regretting the thought that Tobi may be a little carful of what he eats...

Add a Furious Tobi and a Massive Sugar Rush, and you know what the answer would be.

**''WHO IS THE SKANK THAT CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF LETTING THE DAMN CEREAL STAY IN PUBLIC!''** Zetsu screeched, angry that he would probably get the most shit out of this when Pein came back. Why does _he_ have to be the responsible for all of their stupid mindless antics?

''I THOUGHT HE WOULD RECOVER EARLIER! PLEASE DON'T KILLD ME, UN!''

''5$, brat.''

''5$? Where?'' The greedy old wench said, a hunter aura forming around him.

''Calm down, Kakuzu! There is no money here!'' Sasori said, knowing Kakuzu would kick them all out just to find that 5 dollar bill if he caught anyone saying it.

''Dammit guys! That damn queer is fucking the entire base! We so Jashin damn _dead!_''

''I wish I haven't killed my clan and joinged this kindergarten...'' Itachi sighed.

**$&€%***

Half an hour later, Tobi finally went back to his old hyper self, which didn't fail to annyoy everyone. Honestly, the kid just trashed down the entire base! And he just morphed back as normal and happy as if nothing happened! Doesn't he realize they were going to suffer things worse than death when Pein and Konan arrived? If so, he is the luckiest being under the sun, because none of the others could get the image of the hell waiting for them out of their minds.

But they at least fixed some of the fixable problems, and cleaned the base up a bit. (Though it still looked like shit.)

Currently, everyone was either in their rooms snoring, or just sitting their beds, counting money or cursing their partner's gills. Deidara was in the livingroom, sitting on the floor and lazily making clay sculptures. Suddenly the doorbell rings, and he leaped up like a cougar, thinking it was Pein and Konan who came back early, and was happy they would finally end his cursed life. However, when he opened the door, he wasn't greeted with the beautiful sight of Pein and Konan looking like bloodthirsty bulls ready to pounce. In the doorframe stood a young man with long white hair, pale green eyes with red underneath them, and two red dots on his forehead (1). He wore a bored expression and was holding a white box with purple glitter on it.

''Post delivery. Here's your box.'' The man said.

''Who sent it, un?'' Deidara said. He covered his mouth quickly, searching the room of any signs of a sadistic redheaded puppet, and sighed in relief when he didn't spot him.

''I don't know, but he said that this box was for someone called Uchiha Itachi... And that he missed him.''

_'Orochimaru, un...'_

''Alright, bye!'' And he slammed the door for no reason. He was about to throw the box in the trashcan when someone interrupted him...

''5$.''

_**''NOOOOOOOOOO!''**_

**&€*$%**

Everyone was gathered in the livingroom, looking at the white purple glittered box carefully. None of them thought that it was a normal box, since it was Orochimaru related, and Itachi was becoming annoyed with the snake-like man's stalking habit. Last time they were tracked down by him, they had to move lair in case he decided to try something funny, and now he knows where their new base is again. Not to mention started to send them wierd gay-looking boxes with a very feminine perfume. Damn pedophile...

''I think we should blow it up, u...Uh...Yeah, blow it up!'' Deidara said, almost slipping up and saying ''un'' but changed it in the last minute. He was getting broke because of Sasori taking all of his money!

''Nah, checking it out would be better I guess.'' **''It may be something important.''**

''Are you shitting me? A box with purple glitter and gay perfume is considered serious?''

''Says the man with purple eyes...''

''Shut up, Kakuzu! At least I don't have melon colored ones!''

''I go with Zetsu. Lets just check out the box first.'' Kisame said, still not entirely sure that it was safe. What if a giant snake hops on their faces once they open the box?

''Alright then, but I'm not opening it.'' Itachi said.

Everyone glared at him. ''Why would that be, huh?''

''Uchihas don't open boxes. Especially ones from Orochimaru.'' He said, remembering the unwritten rule among the young Uchihas. They all were aware of Orochimaru's obsession with young Uchiha boys...

''...Whatever.''

***$^#%&**

Meanwhile, Pein and Konan decided to check out the tourist village. They separated and went to places that caught their attention. Pein was currently at a demonstration against _women_. Good lord Konan wasn't there...

He looked up at the man standing at the top of the little house, and listened when the man spoke up in a microphone.

_''Women are treated way better than us men! They always has the best articles in stores and always has their way with our kids! We have the right too! We want to change the way women are always acting like spoiled brats, and get the best ways all the time!'' _Pein actually sort of agreed. He remembered once, when he was accidentally in the women's washrooms, which was way too nice to be called a washroom. He remembered seeing that on the mirrors it said **''You are too good for him.'', **while in the men's washrooms, which looked like batcaves, it said **''No wonder you always go home alone.''**. The man began speaking again.

_''We men have to fully know how the women's manipulating powers work, so that we can learn to block them out! Those manipulating powers ofter occur on arguments, where the man always get the blame on whatever happened. Those men who are smart enough should know that its best to take one of those papers here. Those papers contain some of the words women use for manipulating. When used by women in arguments, those words have a complete different meaning instead of what it originally means. Read it carefully, and remember, WE MEN ARE THE __WINNERS!'' _Cheers and battle cries were heard once the man finished speaking. Honestly, Pein was a little interested, so he took one of those papers and read.

**Some of the accursed words of Women's Manipulating Powers:**

**FINE: This is the word they use at the end of any argument when they know you are right, but want you to be quiet. **_**NEVER **_**use fine to describe how a woman looks.**

**FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is the equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it maybe is an even trade...**

**NOTHING: This is something and you should be on your toes. ''Nothing'' is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. ''Nothing usually signifies an argument that will last ''Five minutes'' and end with a huffy ''Fine''.**

**GO AHEAD: (with raised eyebrows) This is a dare, one that will result in the female getting upset over ''Nothing'' and will end with a ''Fine''.**

**LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A ''Loud sigh'' means she thinks your an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there arguing with you over ''Nothing''.**

Pein raised an eyebrow. Could Konan be that way? Did she use those ''Manipulating Powers'' in their arguments? He felt like he should be aware next time, folded the paper, and put it in his backpocket.

Konan however, was at an opera show, enjoying every second of the singing woman's angelic voice. It was as relaxing as the hotsprings, and she wished Pein was with her right then.

'Hes probably having fun at some monstertruck show or something.'

**^&*%$**

Back at the base the idiots chose to vote who would sacrifice his life to open the demon possessed box. The votes were:

**Itachi: 1 (Deidara)**

**Kisame: 0**

**Hidan: 3 (Kakuzu, Kisame, Sasori)**

**Kakuzu: 1 (Hidan)**

**Deidara: 2 (Zetsu, Tobi (he thought it was some kind of game)**

**Sasori: 0**

**Zetsu: 0**

**Tobi: 0 (they knew he would do something wrong, so they didn't take the risk)**

''Why the fuck should I do it?'' The Jashinist glared at them.

''Your immortal. You wont die if whatever is in there attacks you.'' Sasori said, smirking in revenge. He was planning on getting revenge on the immortal for sneaking into his room and fucking up everything.

''Yeah yeah... Anyway, in case I die, hopefully, I just want you to know that I hate every single one of you.''

'Don't lie, Hiddy! You love Kaku...'

'NO! SHUT UP! I DON'T! GET AWAY FROM MEEEE!'

''You wont die anyway.''

Hidan glared one last time before looking at the box. The overly sweet perfume made his stomach turn upside down, and he felt like he was going to throw up. Slowly, he reached out his hand, somehow feeling uneasy. He touched the creepy box of doom, and held his breath as his hand made it's way to the top of the box, where he just had to pull to get the damned thing open. He pulled, and the box opened, revealing what was inside for everyone to see.

They were shocked to find that inside the creepy box, was a...

**End** **chapter 6**

**: You already guessed who it is, right? ;)**

**MY FIRST CLIFFHANGER! MWHAHAHA! Lol, I know, those accursed cliffhangers always kill people with excitement. I remember once, when I read a very good story, and at the end of the chapter there was a cliffhanger who cut off a very breathtaking case. I was ridiculously exited, and immediately went to click the ''Next chapter'' button. However, there wasn't one, and I found out that the story was unfinished and will always be. I got totally Wackoo and knocked over everything on the desk :L. Lol, good times XD.**

**And those words of ''Women's manipulating powers'' are actually kind of true... I'm a girl, and I often use those words when I argue with my brother. (about who is better, Akatsuki or Espada from Bleach. Of course Akatsuki is better!)**

**Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE YOU ALL! Especially you, Moyasu-uisuka! I get tears of joy when I read your reviews :'3. **

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Oh my god, guys... Really, I've seen authors that has recieved more than 100 reviews, but when I caught the 11 reviews I received, it made me jump out of my desk, shit on my Biology homework, slaughter my siblings so they move out of the computer, and write faster than 1000 km per second. I LOVE YOU GUYS, SO MUCH! T_T. My heart exploded because of the amount of love for you guys! (Honestly, I had heartache when I was at the Gym, no joke!).**

**So yeah, I think I just broke a key in the keyboard :L. My siblings would be proud!**

**And yikes, I've just realized how much typos there is in this story o.o. Yes, I use Open Office, but I don't usually remember to reread it and fix the damn grammatical errors XD. Sorry for that, I promise It will be as few as possible from now on! Believe it! Yeah! Really!...Okay I'm not sure but...yeah. .**

**~ I just discovered cliffhangers are fun to write! ~**

There they stood, eyes as wide as a baboon's ass, mouths gaping and reaching the buried dinosaur skeletons underground, heart racing with a jaguar, and tiny minds completely blank.

They stared at the figure inside of the cursed box, trying to understand why in the hell they are seeing a grayhaired Harry Potter Wanna-be in front of their shocked faces.

''...I don't remember smoking pot today, so why in the hell am I witnessing Harry Potter with gray hair?'' Sasori said, not realizing that he just revealed his illegal secrets, not that anyone heard him.

''Is that dyed, un?'' Deidara said, still having his eyes wide and mouth agape. Neither he or Sasori heard the ''un'' returning.

''Uhm...Hello, dear Akatsuki. I have an important case to tell you.''

''Is it only me, or this Harry Potter sounds kinda like that nerd, Orochimaru's sidekick, Kaboti or something...?'' Hidan said, amazed that someone could actually be this alike with someone else.

''Kabuto, please.'' The grayhaired Harry Potter Wanna-be, Kabuto, said.

''Kabuto? What the hell are you doing here?'' **''AND YOU BETTER GO BATH QUICKLY BEFORE YOU SPREAD OROCHIMARU'S PEDO-BACTERIA AROUND THE BASE!''**

''Oh well, you see... It has been kinda dangerous staying in the Sound Village these days, because of some really...How should I say..._frightening _events...''

''...Orochimaru is pregnant.'' Said a shrill voice out of nowhere.

**_''...WHAT?''_**

The shrill voice's owner hopped out of the box, and revealed his face in front of the almost fainting Akatsuki members.

''I think I just heard that dog speak...'' Itachi couldn't believe his almost blind eyes, blaming it on Mangekyou Sharingan. But unfortunately, it wasn't only him. The Akatsuki members almost hopped out of their skin, staring horribly at the talking French Bulldog (google it and see how it looks like XD), that was currently glaring at them through barely visible eyes.

''Yes you heard the dog speak. Anyway, I am Zorba (I couldn't come up with something else..). I am a trained ninja dog, and ninja dogs can speak, in case you didn't know. Kabuto-san would be staying here until Orochimaru gives birth to whatever is in there. I will be staying with him to protect him from harm.'' Zorba said, glaring at each one of them, but stopped once his eyes landed on the crazed and horrified expression on a certain Jashinist's face.

''WHAT? You'll stay here?'' Hidan said in total panic.

''Well, it would be nice to have some company here. Why are you disagreeing?'' Kisame said.

_'_**_'…..I'M GODDAMN ALLERGIC TO FUCKING DOGS!''_**

…...

''….''

'…'

…

(….)

Kakuzu smirked. 'Finally found a way to make the annoying dirtbag's life a living hell...Kukuku'

''Hidan...Your allergic? OF A DOG?'' Deidara couldn't believe his ears.

''Well yeah, its not like its my fault or something. Fucking born like this.'' Hidan looked at the dog, and he could've sworn he saw the damn mutt smirk at him.

''What the fuck are you smirking at, bitch?''

''Your deceased face.''

''Oh really? And your face is so fucking handsome I just wanna kiss it.''

''Go ahead?''

''You make me blush.''

''Anytime, Sweetiepie.''

''Fuck you, Honeymoon.''

''SHUT UP, YOU TWO!'' **''Geez, and I thought Kakuzu and Hidan is bad enough...''**

''But the fucking shrimp is mocki- Aah...Ahh...**_WACHOOOOO_**..'' Hidan's face turned green.

''Hah! Take that, twerp!'' The dog grinned a toothy grin, showing off brown scrawny teeth.

''You ugly bastard! I'll fucking kill you! You just wai- **_HACHOOOO_**..''

The witnesses sweatdropped, watching in either amusement, amazement, rage or disbelief.

''Eh...Zorba, please be quiet so we can negotiate with them...'' Kabuto nervously said. After seeing what the dog was capable of saying, he developed a new respect for the mighty French Bulldog.

''Oh, alright, kid. Go on.''

''Ok. Uhm... You see, we really are glad you guys accepted...''

''OVER MY DEAD FRIKKIN' BODY!''

''Shut up, you disrespectful filth!'' The dog screeched.''Okay, Kabuto-san. Continue.''

''Yeah... So we think one week would be enough, because Orochimaru has been, uh...pregnant, for a long while, so its only fair we stay here a week.''

''NOT IF I HAVE ANY FUCKING SAY IN THIS!''

''DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?''

''No, because I don't speak with fucking dogs!''

''Well, the dogs are speaking with you!''

''I don't give a flying cat!''

''You don't have one!''

''I see one in front of me!''

''Than you must be on crack!''

''**_SHUT UP, YOU DISGUSTING LITTL- ACHOOOO..''_**

_**&%$#***_

Pein was in his and Konan's hotel room, listening to the sound of running water from the bathroom. Konan was taking a shower, and he was bored out of his mind. Again. He really didn't want to know how his life would be like if Konan wasn't there. He'd probably choose suicide. But not before killing all of the cockroaches that he was sure were currently causing a huge problem in the base! He could feel their evil smirks, their maniacal cackling, and greedy eyes. He should be planning how to get them back for that, because death, in his eyes, was too merciful. He'll make up the best punishment for them, and he'll make sure it was way worse than chatting with Tobi...

But now, he was in a vacation, and a vacation meant letting his brain rest for a while. Hell, he should just sit on his ass and eat junkfood and enjoy his life. Yes. That's it. He's doing it.

He walked over to the fridge, grabbing food that would probably gift him 4 kg once his done. He carried it to the table, and dropped it like he was dropping a duck in the sea. He took the remote control, and sat oh-so-gracefully on the couch. Switching the TV on Tom and Jerry, he somehow found himself thinking about Hidan and Kakuzu.

Yes, he knew Hidan's feelings better than the idiot himself. Kakuzu, however, was pretty good on hiding his feelings, but was failing hard on hiding the fact that he looked at Hidan when the Jashinist wasn't paying attention. It was obvious that Kakuzu felt something other than hate for Hidan, but the damned geezer wont admit it!

Why would Pein care, you'd ask? Well, its simple.

Well, not that simple, but a leader can hope, right?

Right, so he thought that if Hidan and Kakuzu finally admit their feelings and get together, it would be less bickering, thought he doubted it a little. But yeah, hope, remember?

**%&£#^**

''Fucker!''

''Brat!''

''Cocksucker!''

''Dograpist!''

''I don't rape dogs. I'm allergic!''

''That doesn't mean you don't look like a dograpist!''

''You know what? I should just use tape, put it on your squeaky mouth and ENJOY!''

''I'd like to see you try!''

''You asked for it!''

''I did!''

''You did!''

''Yes!''

''Yes!''

Hidan grabbed a nearby tape and lunged on the dog with a battle cry. He grabbed the dogs arms and held them above it's head. He used his other free hand and his mouth to pull on the tape's edge, and the tape came out. He grinned as his hand made it closer to the mutt's mouth, but it soon faded as the dog smirked and bit his hand. Hard.

He released the dog and held his hand, trying to ease the pain. The dog took the opportunity and jumped on the shrieking Jashinist's face, scratching. The Jashinist waved his hands violently around his abused face, trying to pry the crazed dog off of him, but unfortunately he accidentally poked his index finger in his eye, and swore on Jashin's holy book that he was going to send that fucking ogre straight to hell and right into Satan's asshole.

The dog jumped from the immortal's face, grinning in victory, but as soon as he saw the look on the Jashinist, he cursed his mother for giving birth to him.

Saying the loudmouth was pissed was an understatement. A dangerous understatement. His eyes were filled with bloodthirst that promised stinging death, and his left eye was bloodied due to the idiot poking his finger in it. The silverhaired dumbass was panting and looked like a angry bull, but instead of being angered by seeing red, dogs were the Jashinist's center of fury.

He pounced on the dog, and was about to literally tear him limb from limb until the dog somehow found an escape way and ran away.

'What a fucking coward! I swear when I get my hands on that little head of his I'll-'

''Hidan? Shit, what the hell did you do to your eye, you idiot!'' Kakuzu entered the room, not affected by the horrifying sight of blood. He was used to it anyway, with Hidan's sacrifices...

He opened a nearby nightstand and pulled out some bandages. Walking to the immortal, he stretched the bandage out and tied it around Hidan's head, covering his left eye. All the while he didn't notice the Jashinist's amethyst eye staring at him. Once he was done, he was about to stand up, but was pulled down by a hand grasping his wrist.

He looked back at the Jashinist, whose face was so close to his own that he could feel the other's breath. He noticed that Hidan was leaning farther, farther, almost there...

_**BAAAAM**_

The two immortals were sent flying into the wall, knocking off a few things on the way. They looked up, and both were endlessly pissed to see the dog standing there, grinning and holding a bazooka that he apparently used to shoot at them. They growled as they rushed to the dog, hurrying in case he decided to run away again.

Once they were a step away from him, he poofed away leaving a paperbomb on the floor were he stood.

''Kakuzu...''

''Yeah?''

''This will be painful...''

_**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM**_

Deidara and Tobi screamed as the floor beneath them began to shake. Thinking it was an earthquake, they hugged each other, apologizing for all of the regretful things.

''TOBI! Sorry I treated you like shit, un!''

''Senpai! Sorry Tobi never told you that he...'' Tobi got interrupted by a vase falling to the floor and chattering.

''You what, un...?'' Deidara looked at him wide eyed, thinking that the world would finally meet it's end.

''That he cut your hair in your sleep!''

..._What?_

''Tobi...''

''Y-Yeah Sempai?''

''Give me a knife.''

''Okay Sempai!'' The orangemasked idiot took a knife that was still laying on the table and handed it to Deidara.

''Now Tobi, give me your wrist.''

''Okay Sempai!''

''….''

''….''

''Well?''

''Tobi doesn't know what wrist is...''

''Kill me, God. Just fucking kill me...''

**End chapter 7**

**Finally =_=. I'm so tired I just wanna lay on the bed and act like a pig. And really, finding names for dogs is harder than it sounds o.o. Lol, I know. Zorba sounds fishy... But hey, at least he is a little funny! And lol, I'll make sure that the upcoming war of Zorba Vs The Immortal Due will be full of heated ****antagonism ****XD.**

**Please review! It'll make my day!'**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello people! I'm so happy right now! I just got bitch slapped by an awesome idea for a fic! Honestly, I got it when I was listening to ''Everybody's Fool'' by Evanescence for a reason. And yes, you guessed it. It's a HidaKaku XD. But hey, believe me, it wont be like the other lame fics I make! It will be Romance and Angst and actually a story, not a Oneshot! :D**

**Anyway, you people... are the kindest in the world T_T. I just can't find a way to thank you all, because the joy I get when I read your reviews is ridiculously unbelievable. The least I can repay you with is continue this and say thank you. THANK YOU! :'D**

**PS: Extremely short and boring chapter. Sorry, I couldn't take it! DX. I just want to start writing the new fic! But don't worry, I will still continue this story! **

**~MFKONFAFKIDSO~**

Our favorite criminals were currently sitting on the ripped up couches in the livingroom, with looks on their faces that promised a living hell to a certain Jashinist and old man. Those two however, had looks on their faces that promised sheer death for a certain French Bulldog, that was grinning from ear to ear. The fact that no one suspected that it was him that blew up half of the base was a plus for him, and the fact that everyone was sure it was the Immortal Idiots that did it was a plus in the plus.

''Kakuzu, Hidan...Do you realize what you just did to the base right now?'' The redheaded puppet groaned. That was the second time those two caused a giant trouble, that would probably end up with all of them in a situation worse than death.

''Yes we do, you fucki-'' The Jashinist got interrupted by a tan hand on his mouth, and unconsciously _blushed _at the contact.

''Okay, lets get this straight. First of all, the base was already fucked up. Second, this is the last time I tell you _we didn't do it._'' Kakuzu didn't like to admit it, but that dog was a smart one.

''So you think we would believe that it was this scrawny little dog that blew up the wall with a bazooka?'' Itachi said, pointing at the devil's spawn that was making a fake hurt expression, wide eyes with tears on each side.

''Yes, we do. That thing is not a dog. It's the devil's spawn.'' Kakuzu glared at it, not noticing that Hidan was unusually quiet.

Zetsu sighed. These two could really be a pain in the ass... **''Why are we wasting time arguing over this shit?''** ''Lets just hand out the punishment for these two.''

That was when Hidan came back to reality and, with a bit of disappointment, pushed away Kakuzu's hand.

**_''WHAT? _**_We _get the fucking punishment? Why isn't the fucking mutt getting a punishment too? **_AND STOP FUCKING GRINNING YOU DAMN SHEMALE!_**'' The shit-eating grin Deidara had at the moment made Hidan want to strangle something.

''You two are obviously up to something, blaming this poor puppy.'' Deidara was ecstatic. He was always amused seeing the Jashinist get the blame for everything. Yes, he knew that dog was evil, but he had no intention of stopping the fun...

**%$#&^**

''Stupid shopping, stupid women, STUPID KONAN! Why the fuck am I, the respected leader of Akatsuki, standing here and **DOING THE DAMNED DISHES!**''

Pein was pissed. Endlessly pissed. Konan just had to find a group of girls and go shopping with them, leaving Pein with those god forsaken dishes. He didn't even know how to wash them for god's sake! He had the trashcan filled with broken pieces of glass, and his hands were bloodied.

He finished up after almost 2 hours, and bandaged his hands. He threw himself on the couch and grabbed the paper from the demonstration against women. He reread it, finally understanding that it might be true...

'So that man leading the demonstration wasn't dumb after all. Time for research then...'

Pein had a mission. A mission that could end up with him facing the deadly wrath of Konan. He had to stalk Konan everywhere she went, and find out if Konan used the Women's Manipulating Power against him, because he knew that there was no way he, the feared leader, would just give up and do the _dishes. DISHES! _The dreaded nightmare of every man!

Yes, he will succeed this mission at any cost...

**&$#"!***

**''THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, KAKUZU! **They can't do this to us, their comrades! How the fuck did they trust that fucking mutt more than us!''

''Calm down, idiot.''

Hidan and Kakuzu was in their room, fighting the temptation to kill everyone in the base, and tear the damned dog to shreds. The traitors, a.k.a, the other members, decided that their punishment was...

...**To be the servants of Kabuto and his little dog... For the entire week...**

**_' SERVANTS... SERVANTS...SERVANTS...SERVANTS...'_** That word was stuck in their minds, driving them insane. They will be servants, for the entire week, and for that dog. THE DOG! A DOG! SERVANTS! FOR A DOG! All the shit they have to clean up, all the food they have to make, all the stress, all the urges to beat the living crap out of that cursed thing... Oh, they will get their revenge. And it will be _good..._

**End chapter 8**

**Sorry sorry sorry sorry, for the really short chapter! Like I said, the excitement overpowered me, and I just realized that I had no ideas for this chapter at the moment. But I swear, next chapter, I will put my body and soul to write! And for this new story I'm planning to write, you wont be disappointed! (unless you don't like HidaKaku/KakuHida :(. ) **

**Again, sorry! But stay tuned for the next chapter! Really, I'll put effort! Hyaaaaaaaaa... =_=.**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello! Finally got some time to write a chapter for this! I hope you guys like it :D. I don't have so much to write in the author's note today so yah...XD**

**AND THANK YOU ALL OF MY READERS AND REVIEWERS! I love you more than my Hidan and Tobi plushies! **

**And I just burnt my pizza DX. Forgot it in the damn heater too long D:**

**~nfjslafnjlafnjlab~**

Zorba thanked every God he knew of (excluding Jashin, of course) for the week he would be staying at Akatsuki in. It was like heaven. No disgusting dog food, no bitching sound ninja, no games of Go-catch-the-stick, and no pedophilic Orochimaru. But best of all, his servants. Those two gorillas. He, _HE,_****would be ordering them around like bitches. Ha! In their undying faces! Serves them right. Especially that silver haired baboon. He was the one who started arguing. That'll teach him to respect his superiors!

The dog smirked as he passed the two immortal partners, who were giving him murderous glares that promised of events worse than death. Zorba knew they couldn't do anything, due to the consequences. The other Akatsuki members warned them to not as much as trip him.

**Flashback**

_''Hidan, Kakuzu. Your punishment is to serve the dog and Kabuto for the whole week they will be staying. And if anything happens to **one **of them, we all will be having fun bringing Orochimaru here and lock you with him in a closet. And no protests.'' Sasori snarled, but happy that he could finally place the blame for everything on someone._

_''But-''_

_''I said no protests Hidan! Look at the base for god's sake! It's catastrophic! Inartistic!''_

_''What? It **is** artistic, un!'' Deidara said. The place looked like an explosion had taken place right there. And it has. _

_''No it isn't. Brat. Art is eternal.''_

_''**I** am eternal.''_

_''I meant art! Not a piece of garbage like you!''_

_''WHAT? Shut up, fucking Pinocchio! Jashin-sama's followers are all made of art! Whatever the hell it means...''_

**End flashback**

And the religious idiot didn't even know what art is! Zorba would take his time pissing the Jashinist off about it later...

He walked to the kitchen, humming the tune of 'Who Let The Dogs Out'. He looked up and spotted Deidara from the window, laughing like a mad scientist. The blond bomber was holding some sort of weird sticky-looking white material in his hands. '_Could that be...spe-'_

The dog's thought got interrupted by a loud explosion, making him shriek in fear.

''Oh my god! OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY CALL 911! FIRE! FIRE! AAAAAAAH-'' He got interrupted by the phone on the counter, ringing.

He picked it up and immediately regretted it. Dogs have very sensitive hearing...

''_SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'M TRIYING TO PRAY HERE! And by the way, mutt, you sounded like a squirrel getting raped! And just to tell you, me and Kakuzu are laughing our asses off! Ha- fucking- __**ha**__!'' _And the loudmouthed pig hung up.

Zorba felt like blood was spilling out of his ears. That man was so loud! However, Zorba was going to get his revenge, and that was for sure...

**&£$*^#**

Kisame was bored. Again. He planned on doing a prank phone call again, but quickly shook it out of his head. Itachi's brother wasn't _that _stupid...right?

He shrugged, continuing his journey down the hallway, when he caught sight of something that forced him to stop. The phone. The temptation. THE BOREDOM. He had to do it. Yes, he'll do it.

He grabbed the phone, grinning like Frankenstein. He didn't plan on calling Sasuke, so he dialed a random number, hoping someone fun was going to pick it up...

_''Hello? Who's there?''_

''Hello Sir. I'm the manager of the infamous Akatsuki Arrival band. Can I know who I'm talking to?'' Kisame said, using a fake deep voice.

_''Oh. I'm Sai. Nice to meet you. So what is your purpose with calling me?''_

Kisame snickered. ''Well you see, we have lost our singer, Konan, and we've heard about some 'Sai' that had an excellent voice. We tried very hard to find your number and now we got it! Would you please accept our offer?''

_'' ...Come back when you've gotten yourself a penis.''_

_What?_

''Excuse me, sir?''

_''I said you can call me back when you get a penis.'' _

Kisame was dumbfounded. Those words coming from the guy...He could even feel the guy smiling right then!

Sasori walked by, and stopped when he caught sight of Kisame. The blue skinned man looked like someone just bitchslapped him. Curious, he walked over to the shark, waving a hand in front of his face. He did that for a good while until the shark finally snapped back to reality.

''And what the hell happened to you?'' The redhead asked, looking at the wide eyed Kisame in confusion.

Kisame took Sasori's hand and shoved the phone in it. ''Take this, and ask the guy to repeat what he just said!''

Sasori cocked an eyebrow. ''Okay...'' Lifting the phone up to his left ear, he spoke. ''Sorry, but can you please repeat that?''

_''Go get a penis and be a man. And fix your hearing. Jesus Christ..''_

''…..''

Sasori felt his blood boil. How could that insect insult his manhood like that? He'll teach him some manners!

He opened his mouth, ready to shout, but stopped as an idea crossed his mind. He grinned. There is someone he knew of that would surely make that guy's hair turn white...

**$£^!#**

Hidan was sitting on his bed, holding his rosary up to his face.

Once someone would look at him, they'd think he was praying. But in truth, he was watching a certain masked miser count his godforsaken money.

'Look at him! Completely obsessed with those fucking things. It's just green paper with smug faces planted on it! What the fuck is so great about them?'

'...Your jealous.' His honest side kicked in again..

'…...What was that?'

'...Your jealous.'

'…...I couldn't hear you.'

'...Your jealous.'

'…...I had something in my ear.'

'...YOUR JEALOUS!'

'GAAH! Don't fucking shout in my ears!'

'That wasn't your ears. That was your brain.'

'Whatever...And what the hell do you mean 'Your jealous'?'

'I meant that your jealous.'

'Fucker! I'm not jealous of anything! What the fuck would I, Hidan the Greatest, be jealous of?'

'….Money.'

'Monkey?'

'….Money.'

'Honey?'

'….MONEY YOU DEAF RETARD!'

'Why the hell would I be jealous of fucking money?'

'...You know what?'

'What?'

'Your more stupid than I thought.'

Just when Hidan was about to declare a mental civil war, Sasori's voice interrupted him.

**''HIDAN!''**

**''WHAT? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!''**

**''JUST COME DOWN TO THE HALLWAY! NOW!''**

''Sheesh...''

**%£ %***

Kisame was wondering why Sasori called for Hidan right then, but when he saw the insane look on the puppet's face, he froze.

''Your not planning on letting him...?''

''You better bring earplugs.''

''..Shit..''

He pulled out earplugs for him and Sasori from the nearby drawer, watching as Hidan made his way to them.

''What do you want?''

''Well, this guy was saying something I didn't understand. Figured out that maybe you know what he is talking about.''

''Give me that thing.'' The Jashinist snatched the phone from the smirking puppet's hand. ''What did you say?'' He spoke.

_''You must have a really bad hearing condition. Maybe that's because of your lack of penis.''_

Sasori and Kisame put on the earplugs.

_**''WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST SAY! YOU MOTHER FUCKING COCKSUCKER! I'LL SHOVE YOUR OWN DAMN FACE UP YOUR OWN DAMN ASS! FUCKING SON OF A FUCKING BITCH! $£&{ ÄÖ& Å()#€% ^^ *%$/"¤/!**_

_''…Wow. You really have no penis..'' _And he hung up. Right before Hidan threw the phone into the wall, and watching as it broke down to twenty pieces and making a hole on the wall.

''Great, another reason for Pein to kill us...'' Kisame sighed, cursing his life.

**End chapter 9**

**Lol, it was kind of fun writing this chapter XD. I hope you like it :D. And oh my god, the language XD. **

**Anyway, I LOVE YOU ALL. Those who read, who reviewed, who favorited, who alerted. I LOVE YOU ALL WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING! Especially you, Moyasu-uisuka! You did all of the four aforementioned things! And keep on writing ''Mirrored''. It's really a very fun story :D.**

**And please review, everyone! It makes my fingers move and write on their own :D.**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello! Sorry for making the updates a little late. I have my other story to write so I don't really have as much time for this one as before. BUT DON'T WORRY! Even if I maybe someday would be _very_ late updating it, I would never abandon it! Believe it! **

**And thank you all who reviewed! I have no words to describe how much I love you all! :D**

**Now, on with chapter 10!**

**~ njflknbjklndfjka ~**

Sasori sat on his bed, grabbing his favorite literature book and started reading. Five minutes later, Kisame came storming through the door, looking like somebody said he ate a shark. He looked around the room, as if searching for something. Sasori raised an eyebrow as the blue skinned man's eyes finally met him.

''HAVE YOU SEEN DEIDARA?'' He shouted, so loud that Sasori almost felt like the room was shaking.

''Uhm...no..Why are you looking for him?'' Sasori made a face as Kisame showed him his fish tank, with the fish dead and the stink spread throughout the whole room in seconds.

''The damn blonde poisoned my fish!''

Sasori cocked an eyebrow. Poisoned? Where would Deidara get poison from? His eyes widen as he slowly realized that there was only _one_ poison in the base that affects fish.

He jolted up from the bed, opening his drawer and picked up a can.

Empty.

_Empty._

**_Empty._**

**_EMPTY!_**

_**''**__**THAT POISON TOOK MONTHS TO PERFECT! WHERE'S THAT DAMN BRAT! DEIDARAAAA! I SWEAR! YOUR GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!''**_

**&{¤[]#***

Deidara chuckled as he heard the ruckus from the base. He was sitting on the roof. Well.._hiding_ may be a better word. He knew Sasori would pretty much make a puppet out of him now that he wasted Sasori's special poison. And now that he killed Kisame's precious fish, he knew he was going to get a lot of shit for it. Though he didn't care about it when he did it. He was enjoying himself too much, and now he didn't know what to do.

Apologizing was out of the question. There was no way any of the bastards in Akatsuki besides Konan would be this kind and forgiving.

Hiding til they calmed down may be better, but he couldn't hide that long. And Tobi would pretty much find him and ruin everything.

Running away wasn't an option. He was forbidden to get out of the base.

The only good option left for him was...

Disguising. As the Akatsuki members.

He grinned. _'It might be fun, un...'_

**&$/"¤€***

**_''SERVANTS!'' _**Zorba barked, smirking as the the two immortals entered the room, growling.

''Yes?'' They growled in unison.

'''Yes' what?'' His smirk turned to a grin.

''….Yes..M-master..'' They struggled, looking like they were about to explode, making his grin even bigger.

''I'm hungry. Bring me some ramen.''

_'With a spiced dog, preferably.' _Hidan thought, gritting his teeth.

They turned around and stormed out of the room without a word, heading for the kitchen. Kakuzu took some vegetables from the fridge, pulled out a knife from the drawer, and sliced them sadistically, imagining that they were a certain smug dog. Hidan pulled out a pot from the counter, filled it with water and slammed it down on the newly fixed stove before turning it on. He took out a noodle pack and ripped the sack open, letting the noodles fall into the pot. Kakuzu finished with the vegetables, and let them also fall down into the pot. Hidan glared at the steam rising out of the pot. Seeing Zorba's face on it, he let out a battle cry, and began punching through the steam as if it were a punching bag.

Kakuzu didn't tease him or call him an idiot as he usually would have done. In fact, he joined the Jashinist, crying out, punching through the poor steam, imagining the dog's ugly face bloodied and no longer smirking that god damned smirk of his.

Finally, they stopped, panting and glaring at the pot with red crazed eyes. They looked at each other and nodded. They looked back at the pot, this time grinning from ear to ear.

No one. _NO ONE, _dares making the Zombie due their servants. And **NO ONE** dares to make them call them master.

They were going to get revenge. And a sweet one at that...

**%#_%/***

Sasori was furious. He looked through the hideout at least 5 times and he _still_ hasn't found the blonde brat yet. Where could he be? There was no way the brat ran away from the base. Sasori was sure of that. So _where_?

He walked down the hallway with heavy footsteps. He spotted a flash of gold run down the second hallway and enter the living room, and immediately knew it was Deidara.

He ran to the living room, and searched around. No one was there.

Except for Tobi.

''Tobi, have you seen Deidara enter?'' He said, hoping Tobi would be useful for once.

''No. Tobi hasn't seen Deidara-sempai. Why are you looking for him?'' Tobi said, tilting his head innocently.

''That fucking brat wasted my precious poison! I'm going to send him to hell!'' And the redhead ran out of the living room, searching for the blonde bomber again.

''Tobi'' chuckled, doing some hand signs. Smoke appeared and out of it came the chuckling blonde bomber, grinning widely.

His plan was working flawlessly.

He already fooled Kisame with it! All he had to do was keep his guard up, and sense the two's chakra. Then he would just do a Henge no Jutsu and take someone's appearance.

_'I'm a genius, un.''_

**#&*%/%**

Itachi and Kabuto were in the living room, sitting on the couches opposite from each other. Kabuto was having a very hard time with the awkward silence, whereas Itachi was just fine, staring unblinkingly. Kabuto began to sweat as he looked into those creepy Sharingan eyes of Itachi, staring at him expressionlessly. Finally, he snapped.

''Okay! I give up! You win! Oh god, my eyes!'' He cried out.

''See? I told you. No one ever beat me in these kind of games. You should've known that you lack skill.'' The weasel said, still not blinking.

Suddenly, Kisame ran into the living room, jumping above the sofa, doing a flip in the air and landing right in front of the unsurprised Uchiha, who was still not blinking. Kabuto stared at the Uchiha wide eyed. He didn't even flinch when the giant fish jumped out of nowhere, while Kabuto almost jumped out of his skin!

''Itachi! Have you seen Deidara anywhere?'' Kisame said, panting from fury.

''I haven't seen him anywhere, nor do I care...'' Itachi said, still staring at Kabuto unblinkingly as Kisame made his way out of the living room.

**&¤(*¤!#**

Hidan and Kakuzu were having the time of their lives. They have been planning their move to get revenge on the smug dog that dared call them servants, and finally decided to use the ramen.

They have put in all sorts of odds and ends into it. Shampoo, fertilizer, Deidara's clay, sand, cow shit, spit, blood, leafs, mud, worms, grape juice and ants. They (actually only Hidan, since Kakuzu wasn't so sadistic that he could stand the blood mixed with those horrible ingredients) smashed it all and mixed it til it wasn't visible. They added more ramen soup so the ramen would look normal, and they put in all the ramen spices they had so the smell wouldn't appear.

Grinning evilly, they made their way to the room the dog was sitting mightily in. They put the bowl on the table in front of the dog, and bowed respectfully before leaving, closing the door and running away as fast as possible to cackle madly.

**&%#¤"^***

Zetsu was standing by his window, watering his precious Gravillea flower, and humming happily. He was in a good mood for once. Tobi had finally stopped bugging him about buying candy, and he managed to fix the stove. At last! Just as he was about to hug his dearest plant, a barking voice interrupted.

_**''BRLAAAAAAAAAAARGHHF! OH MAH FACKING GOTH! WHUT THA FACK HAFE YOUH PUT IN THA RAMEM! YOUH FACKING BATHTARDS! CAN'T EVAN MAKE PROPAR RAMEM! I'LL KELL YOUH! YOUH DAMM RACISTS! DOG ABUSARS! BLURGHH!'' **_The voice was so loud, the room was shaking, making Zetsu's precious flower fall down on the hard ground outside and into a pile of Zorba's shit, making Zetsu's black side turn white and his white side turn black.

Mad and loud cackling could be heard, but Zetsu ignored them.

On the verge of tears, he swore on his now deceased Gravillea flower that he will get his revenge...

**End chapter 10**

**Lol, looks like everybody want's revenge on the unfortunate poor dog XD But don't worry! He will get his revenge too ;) **

**Everyone who reviewed, I LOVE YOU ALL! You give me more than enough hope to keep writing this fic. I LOVE ALL OF YOUR REVIEWS! And from now on, I'll be replying! :D**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Finally a new chapter! It's really hard having two stories to work on. **

**I don't have very much to say, sooo...**

**ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

**~gjksgklangjlfdnjkg~**

Ringed purple eyes watched a certain blue haired kunoichi as from the top of a building, not even blinking a second. Pein watched as Konan talked with some unidentified women, talking about their lazy men, laughing, and probably gossiping.

_'Damn women, playing innocent...'_

He watched as the group of women made their way to a hair salon, still talking and laughing.

The Akatsuki leader put on his black hat, black shades, black mustache, and black coat (that he stole from God knows where) and jumped down from the roof, making sure no one saw him. He walked in a fast pace, and opened the door to the salon.

Only to be greeted by a fat, muscular, and _giant _woman.

''What are you doing here, man? This place is only for ladies! Get lost!'' She barked, assuring him that she was even scarier than Konan.

He decided not to give up yet, for the sake of his plan, and put up a tough front. ''Excuse me, _lady_, but I have some business to attend to here. I am not here to burn my hair with your crappy work!'' He barked back.

She huffed, looking like a bull. ''Oh, so you dare shout at me? _Me. _The owner of this damn store!'' He could've sworn that she was getting bigger and bigger...

He gulped. ''I-I...Never mind...'' He said, wide eyed. Suddenly, a brilliant realization hit him.

_'What the hell am I saying? I am the Akatsuki's feared leader for God's sake! Come on, Pein. Show her whose the strongest here!'_

''I don't give a shit who you are!'' He said, gaining courage from his Inner Mini Peins, wearing cheerleader outfits and singing cheerleader chants, doing flips in the air. ''So you either get out of my way or I'll kick your ass, duh!'' He said, putting a hand on his hip and the other was doing hand motions that just screamed 'I'm a pretty boy.'

''How _dare_ you? I'll teach you some manners!'' She scolded, pulling up her sleeves.

She walked up to him, making the floor shake. His eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. Okay, he _wasn't _expecting that...

His Inner Mini Peins were screaming their heads off, running around his head and earning him a headache. And so, he did the first thing that came to his mind.

''_SHINRA TENSEI!'' _He shrieked, and the giant woman flew backwards, destroying the whole salon.

Realizing what he just did, he silently turned around to get the hell away from there, praying for his life, when the voice that made him shake from fear stopped him.

''_Oh_ _Pein, Pein, Pein...'' _He shakily turned around, facing the shadowy figure that sent off deadly aura, and put on his best smile.

''Heey, Konan sweetie...What a coincidence...Ehehehehe...'' He stuttered, his smile shaking.

He began shrieking when a strong hand grabbed his collar, and dragged him away from the salon, heading for the hotel...

***%9{$ **

''**_DEIDARAAAAAAAA!_**'' Two deep voices shouted, running around the Akatsuki base in search for a soon-to-be-dead blond bomber.

Sasori and Kisame had spent the entire day searching for the blond, and each second that ran by, they got angrier and angrier, thinking of how much time they wasted looking for the brat, while they could have done much more useful things. It was all Deidara's fault, and he was going to pay big time...

**£ €6${***

Deidara praised himself for being the smart genius he is for such a plan. They _still _didn't find him. Every time they thought that they saw him, and followed to the room he was in, he transformed into some other Akatsuki member, and when they asked him where ''Deidara'' was, he innocently answered with a 'Haven't seen him.'.

Hearing footsteps coming to the room he was in, he quickly formed some hand signes and transformed into Hidan.

As soon as the smoke cleared up, Kisame entered the room panting and looking around. When he finally spotted ''Hidan'', he frowned.

_'Weird...I thought I just saw him cackling with Kakuzu in the hallway...How come he's in here now? Anyway...'_

''Hidan, have you seen Deidara?'' The blue skinned man said.

''Hidan'' shrugged. ''Haven't fucking seen him. And weren't you and Sasori looking for him in ages? Why don't you just give up?'' He said innocently, trying to get Kisame to stop chasing the bomber.

''Well, you see, that damn troll killed my fish with Sasori's poison, wasting it all! We're getting revenge no matter what!'' The shark man said, running out of the room.

''Hidan'' snickered, shaking his head. He did some hand signs, and smoke appeared again, this time revealing the sneaky blond, grinning from ear to ear.

_'I can't believe how stupid they are, un.' _

He walked out of the room, unaware of the figure hiding behind the closet.

***^%^#/3**

''That was fucking priceless, man! We should totally do that sometime again!'' Hidan said to his tanned partner, grinning.

Kakuzu put a hand on his chin.''Yes, but I don't think that mutt is so stupid to fall for it again. Either he'll be more careful next time, or he will make his own food.'' He smirked, turning to face his partner. ''Are you thinking what I'm thinking?''

Hidan smirked, knowing his partner's evil mind. Still smirking, he cocked an eyebrow. ''What are you thinking?''

''We should hide all the food and replace it with cat food. But not before disguising the cans...''

They started cackling like the evil masterminds they were.

**%{#"(&**

_'So that's how he keep on running away?' _

Itachi was looking for his reading glasses when Deidara entered the room. The blond was too preoccupied with doing hand signs to notice the dark haired man behind him, so Itachi decided to hide to see what the bomber was up to.

He have witnessed how the bomber always managed to get away from Kisame and Sasori, and he had to admit that it was smart. It surprised him that Deidara, who had an equally small brain as Hidan, could come up with such an idea.

He smirked as an idea of his own hit him. _'I could have my own advantages of this...'_

**$/*3/¤)"£**

''Those fucking bastards. I'll show them whose the master here!'' Zorba muttered as he continued his 10 minutes of washing the horrible taste off of his mouth.

The ramen those immortal freaks served him tasted worse than Orochimaru's special Dead Mouse Cookies!

He winced at the memories...

He swore that he will get the two bastards bowing down to him, kissing his feet in worship.

_'You don't know what you've got yourself into, you stupid little dog abusers! This is war!'_

**%&$(¤"'**

Tobi was bored out of his mind. Everyone in the base had something to do, while he just sat there with nothing on his mind. He was planning to search for his senpai to play with him, but Deidara had been missing since morning, with Kisame and Sasori looking for him with murderous intent.

Suddenly, a thought hit him, and he ran to his room to find his partner.

Once he opened the door to his and Zetsu's room, he gasped.

There stood Zetsu, with chainsaws in his hands and an insane grin, showing all of his sharp teeth.

Zetsu looked surprised when Tobi entered, and so he put the chainsaws on his desk and looked at his partner with a blank look, waiting for the masked man to snap out of his daze.

It took a few minutes when Tobi finally came back to earth.

''ZETSU-SAN! YOU SCARED TOBI!''

''Sorry Tobi!'' ''**What? Why are you apologizing? He was the one who interrupte-**'' A death glare from Zetsu's white side shut his black side up.

''What do you need chainsaws for, ?'' Tobi said, walking up to his partner and hugging him.

''Well, you know...That..'' ''**..fucking..**'' ''...dog's..'' ''**..shitty..**'' ''..loud voice shook the room, which ended up in the death of our precious Gravillea flower.'' Zetsu sniffed, pointing at the dead plant, but not daring to look at it in fear of heartache.

Tobi's eyes were full of tears once he looked back at his partner, and together, they began weeping for the death of the flower Zetsu had taken care of since the age of diapers.

**End chapter 11**

**Muahahaha! Admit it, people! Torturing favorite characters is undeniably fun :D **

**I love picturing Kakuzu and Hidan as evil masterminds XD**

**I don't have much to say other than, as always...**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Reviews make me feel powerful...**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: First of all...Everyone...Your...Reviews...**

**I CAN'T SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOOOOOOUUUUU! **

…**.Uh...Sorry for the (scary) outburst. But seriously! I love you guys! Without your help I wouldn't even know what I write. English was such a hard language to me :o**

**And I'm terribly sorry for the lateness DX **

**This chapter is for all of you!**

**~gnmfjdnsnjlkfsngjk~**

''Okay, Pein. Tell me why you were following me.'' Konan said, in a sickeningly sweet voice.

Pein knew exactly what that voice meant...

It meant hell.

''Well...hehe...I was just...you know..I was bored and decided to play Spy!'' He said, grinning innocently.

She narrowed her eyes, making his grin immediately disappear.

She smiled a sweet smile. ''Do you really think I'm _this _stupid?'' She said, still smiling, and still speaking with that sweet tone that just screamed 'I know your hiding something'.

You know, when you have done a very bad thing, and your mother stands in front of you, with crossed arms, waiting for an explanation. And then you just say the first lie that comes to your mind, which is, obviously, a very bad lie. And your mother gives you The Glare, meaning she didn't believe you, and you begin sweating. Suddenly the truth just fly out of your mouth. And then your mother gets angry, grabs a slipper, and beats the living shit out of you. **(1)**

That was a good description of Pein's situation. Meaning, the truth escaped his mouth all of a sudden.

''! '' He blurted out in 2 seconds, closing his eyes and waiting for a fist to connect with his poor face.

And there it came, making the chair he was tied to fall backwards, taking the poor orange haired man with it.

''MANIPULATING YOU? WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT SHIT FROM?'' She barked, a vein popping on her forehead. How could that idiot think she was manipulating him? He was underestimating her! She could just force him to do anything she wants without manipulating him!

Although sometimes she did it...But that was beside the point!

**#€£5{£***

''_**SERVANTS!**_'' Zorba barked, trying to contain his temper when the two snickering immortals entered, smirks on their ugly smug faces.

''Yes, _master_?'' They said in a mocking voice, their smirks turning into evil grins.

He glared, but then he remembered why he called them in the first place. ''I '_accidentally' _happened to shit on your beds.'' He smirked in victory as their grins immediately dropped. ''Go clean it up.'' He ordered, cackling like a mad man at the horrified looks he earned from the Zombie Duo. It was easy to imagine thunder at the background as he cackled...

He gracefully hopped off of the pillow he was sitting at, and made his way through the door, swaying his ass just to mock the still horrified immortal partners.

Once he closed the door, his grin widened as his two servants shouted through the door. ''**WE'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU FUCKING MUTT! **_**YOU JUST WAIT**__!_''

**%{$£ ]***

Deidara couldn't believe his ears...

Standing in front of him, was Uchiha Itachi, smirking that weasel-y smirk of his. The Uchiha had just told the blond bomber something that the blond had never expected anyone to have to the balls to tell him...

''Yes. If you don't agree with my offer, you can call yourself Dead once I tell Sasori and Kisame how you keep escaping.'' The weasel repeated, the smirk never leaving his face.

The offer...was the most horrible thing the blond had ever been told in his entire life. Worse than that time that he was ordered to throw out all of his extremely hard-to-get explosive clay...

The Uchiha had ''offered'' him to switch rooms with him.

Why, you'd ask?

Since the weasel was paired up with Kisame, he hadn't had good night's sleep. In fact, when he did sleep, that was only when he was lucky. And that was once in a blue moon. The shark man always snored. And with those gills, the snoring ten folded. Became louder and louder.

So now, the blond had no choice but to agree, since the Uchiha would expose him way of escaping from the redhead and the shark.

Itachi had told him that he didn't have to worry about Kisame. The shark man slept like a pig. Snoring, snorting, legs in a wired position. An even worse thing was that he would somehow grab his giant sword and, while sleeping, destroy everything in the room. Itachi had tried to hide the sword, but the blue skinned man always found it. But the best thing with how Kisame slept, is that once he falls asleep, and that's once his head hits the pillow, nothing could wake him up. Not even the deadly stench of Zetsu's fertilizer, so Deidara didn't have to worry about Kisame finding him and killing him. That is, if the blond could survive a night with a sleeping Kisame...

''Well?'' The Sharingan eyed man raised an eyebrow, waiting for a response from the bomber.

Deidara sighed, his eyebrow twitching. ''I guess I have no choice...''

Itachi's smirk widen. ''Well it's settled then!'' He said, happily skipping to the door. ''Have fun!'' He waved to the wide eyed blond, before making his way out of the room.

_'Finally I'll be able to sleep peacefully!' _The Uchiha happily thought, skipping down the hallway.

Back in the room, stood Deidara, wide eyed and dumbfounded.

_'Did Itachi just skip?' _He thought disbelievingly.

**End chapter 12**

**I know many of you must be disappointed with how short and boring this chapter was -.- Sorry! D: I just don't feel like writing today, and the only thing that made me write this was the motivation I gained from your reviews, but I just couldn't find the will to write more. But I promise! Next chapter would be better! :D**

**(1): Have that ever happened to any of you before? 'cause that happened to me countless times XD Seriously, mothers are scary and freaky..**

**I know that I don't have the right to ask you to review since this chapter is clearly disappointing, but I would feel much better and write more if you reviewed!**

**So please!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Chapter 13 here! Sorry if I kept some of you waiting...**

**I don't have much to say other than that, everyone that has reviewed, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU HAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART! (No joke. Reading your reviews always brightens up my day) Thank you all!**

**Now, on with the chapter!**

**~nfjkslnfdsfnkldsnf~**

Sneaking through the hallway was Kakuzu and Hidan, disgruntled grimaces on their faces and veins popping on their foreheads.

They would never be able to sleep on their beds again...

That dog had gone too far. Nobody messed with them that way and managed to survive this long! They decided to take him seriously, and thus, a war is declared.

''That fucking mutt...Not only does our beds stink, but the entire room is filled with the stink! Not to mention our stuff!'' Hidan said, his hands itching to grab the dog's throat and kill him.

''We just have to wait until we plan our next move. Which will be a brutal one...'' Kakuzu smirked at the thought.

They continued walking until they heard a low and suspicious sound, coming from the basement. Hidan ignored it and kept walking, but Kakuzu frowned and stood still. He was trained to not ignore such suspicious sounds.

Noticing that his partner had stopped, Hidan turned to Kakuzu, an eyebrow raised.

''Why did you stop?'' He asked, looking at Kakuzu and then at the basement door the stitched man was staring at.

It took a while until he got an answer. ''Didn't you hear that sound?'' Kakuzu said, still looking at the door.

Hidan's second eyebrow rose. ''Uh, yeah. But it was just a little sound. Probably one of the mouses Tobi had let in...'' He said.

''No. It wasn't them. Mouses aren't big and heavy enough to create a sound as audible as this one.'' Kakuzu said.

He walked over to the door, opened it and entered. He slowly walked down a few steps, looking around for the source of the sound, but it was very dark in there.

Hidan, out of curiosity, followed his partner, making sure to leave the door wide open. It was only when he reached his partner when the door slammed closed, and they froze.

''Oh, hahaha...Kakuzu, didn't that just sound like a door slamming closed in some crappy cheap horror movie?'' He said, laughing nervously.

Kakuzu walked over to the door, grabbed the handle and pushed.

''Locked...'' He muttered.

That made Hidan freak out. ''_LOCKED? FUCKING LOCKED? WE CAN'T STAY HERE! IT STINKS WORSE THAN OUR ROOM! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME? OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! WHOEVER DID THIS WILL PAY!''_ He shouted.

''Shut up, you are hurting my ears. And if any of the bastards heard you, they wouldn't care. So don't tr- Wait...what's that?'' Kakuzu walked down the stairs and on the ground. He bent down and grabbed a paper that was laying there. Reading it, he clenched his fist and growled, gritting his teeth.

He noticed Hidan raising an eyebrow, and walked up to him, shoving the paper into the immortal's hand.

Once he finished reading it, Hidan's reaction was the same as Kakuzu's.

_**Hello, dear servants. I hope you enjoyed cleaning your room, since you will have to do it again later, the stink hadn't left the room. And I hope you enjoy sleeping in the basement.**_

_**With love,**_

_**Your master, Zorba the Greatest.**_

''_WHY THAT FUCKING BITCH! I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!_''

**{[$£7*24**

The door of Itachi and Kisame's room opened slightly, revealing one, sky blue eye. Deidara looked at Kisame for a while, and silently entered the room when he was sure that the shark man was really sleeping. It was obvious, though. He snored very loudly.

The blond silently sneaked to Itachi's bed, and silently laid down, pulling the covers to his body. All the while his wide eyes never left Kisame.

He sighed in relief, and closed his eyes, ready for sleep. He guessed that Itachi was exaggerating about Kisame's snores. It didn't sound that bad and you were still able to fall asleep after a while.

Oh, how wrong he was.

**£€{[ €**

Itachi opened the door of Sasori and Deidara's room, and immediately, as he expected, a poison soaked needle was flying towards him, and he managed to duck down just in time.

Sasori stared. ''Oh, Itachi. I thought you were that brat Deidara. What are you doing here?''

''I got sick of Kisame's loud snoring, and I couldn't sleep. So I figured out I could sleep here instead, since obviously Deidara isn't coming here.'' Itachi answered, walking to Deidara's bed and laying down.

Sasori was slightly disappointed. He had hoped for the blond to return soon since he had missed him terribly much, but oh well...

Laying back down, Sasori stared at the ceiling. Only resting, since he couldn't sleep.

**£{£${£**

''Kakuzu.''

''What?''

''The stink is bothering me.''

''Do I look like I care?''

''You do, since you can't sleep either.''

''Shut up.''

…

''Kakuzu.''

''What?''

''It's fucking cold.''

''And?''

''I'm freezing.''

''_And?_''

''...Can I sleep next to-''

''No.''

…

''Kakuzu.''

Sigh. ''Yes?''

''We're going to kill that dog together, okay?''

''Okay.''

…

''Kakuzu.''

''_**WHAT?**_''

''...Good night.''

Kakuzu could almost hear him smirk, and so, he sent a punch right at the Jashinist's face.

€**{$£$ ***

Two hours. It had been two fucking hours and Deidara _still _couldn't sleep. His eyes where red, and he couldn't get comfortable, tossing and turning every now and then.

He was about to snap when he heard a clock to his left ringing, a tune which a church would play when someone died. He stretched his arm out and reached for the clock, shutting it up. He laid back down, closed his eyes, and relaxed.

Suddenly, a foot kicked him and sent him landing on the floor. Gritting his teeth in annoyance, he looked up and gasped.

No wonder Itachi was so happy to switch rooms if he had to put up with this every night.

Kisame was mumbling in his sleep, kicking and punching the air or anything that came in contact. He was swaying when he walked, and that was then that Deidara realized that the shark man was walking towards him.

Freaking out, he jumped out of reach just in time when Kisame stratched his arm out. Deidara noticed that he grabbed something, and his eyes widened when he saw that it was Samehada, Kisame's giant, deadly, Chakra-eating sword.

Kisame continued muttering as he swung his sword at everything and anything, including the yelping poor blond.

That continued for a few hours until, finally, Kisame dropped his sword and threw himself at his bed.

Deidara, with bags under his eyes and his hair in a mess, smiled, muttering a ''finally, un.'' and laid down on his bed, pulling the covers over his body. Suddenly, he noticed that Kisame had stopped snoring.

Before he could even sigh in relief, the snoring came back, along with the mutterings...

_'I'll kill you Itachi. I'll kill you, un...'_

**£$€ £4**

**Done. Sorry if it's short, but my stomach has been killing me since I hadn't eaten anything but cereal for breakfast...**

**Anyway, thanks to all of you who read, alerted, put on favorites, or/and reviewed! I LOVE YOU ALL! Especially those who review :D**

**And, as always,**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Sorry for the (unusually) long wait, but I really had things to do! Seriously! School is getting harder and harder! D:**

**But, as I said before in my other story, my laptop has arrived! And now that it did, I promise faster and better updates! (Hopfully. I can't guarantee anything, but I promise that I'll try my best!)**

**And I just watched Okane Ga Nai...And I'll say this: IT CAN'T BE YAOI! It's impossible! The uke is too friggin' girly! I actually mistook him for a girl...I mean seriously! Even his voice is girlier than mine! And the body sizes/shapes were pretty weird. It felt like pedophilia...But other than that, the plot was very good and it was kind of funny, so I don't regret watching :)**

**Aaaaaaanyway, on with the story! :D**

**~fnjdsnfskl~**

Morning came, and Zetsu was outside, walking to his greenhouse to do his daily walk to check if everything was right. Once he reached it, he walked up to a nearby flower. The flower looked newborn and tiny, and it was closed. He gatheredhis Chakra to his left hand and sent some of it to the little flower, which caused it to open in response, revealing a silver colored key that was hidden inside the flower's closed head. Zetsu grabbed the key and walked back to his precious greenhouse. Once he was in front of the door, he unlocked all of the ten locks that he put there for safety. After what happened the previous time Konan and Pein went on a date, he would rather eat his hand than let any member enter his precious greenhouse. It had taken him a week and a half to fix everything, and all of his plants were dead, which had caused him a gigantic amount of heartache. He winced at the memory.

He opened the door and entered, making sure to close it behind him and lock at least one of the locks, just in case. Turning around, he admired the beauty that is plants, flowers, and their amazing colors and shapes. They where the most precious things in his life.

Or maybe it came second after Tobi? He didn't know...

But something he knew was that the orange masked man was digging a big hole in his heart and filling it with his orange juice. Zetsu had found himself loving Tobi more and more by each second that he spent with him. The immature man was so childish that it was kind of cute. (But it was still annoying, he decided.) Maybe he would one day allow Tobi to enter his greenhouse? He started thinking of all of the things they could do there, how fun it would be, surrounded by the beauty of nature and-

_**'You're making me sick, thinking such mushy things. I mean, I like Tobi too, but it's overly too lovey-dovey to think like that! You sound like a gay poet!' **_His black side interrupted.

_'Shut up! You know you want to bring him here too! He's like the sun, shining so brightly, warming my heart! It feels like heaven when you hug him, and he tastes like oran-'_

_**'There you go again...Okay, I admit I want to bring him here too, but for fuck's sake stop with the poet crap! You're supposed to be a murderous and scary S-class criminal, man!'**_

_'It's not crap! It's beautiful! Just like the glowing moon and the shining sun, just like the stars and the blue sea, and just like Tob-'_

_**'SHUT UP! I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT!'**_

_'I'm only thinking, pal. And I have the right to, since this is my head. The head with the green beautiful and soft hair, and the snow white skin that reminds you of an angel. Unlike you, pitch black, that would put the darkest horrors to-'_

_**'SHUT UUUUUUUP!'**_

${8[$€[£€

Kisame yawned, stretching his arms. He wondered why he always felt tired when waking up even if he had been sleeping. He doubted that it was because he woke up at 12 PM. It was as if he was still fighting even when he was asleep...

He snorted at that. He looked at Itachi's bed, which had a human-sized lump under the blanket. Weird...Itachi always woke up much earlier than this. _ALWAYS_...

Maybe he was sick? The thought made the blue skinned man get a little worried. Itachi was possibly the most immune person on the planet. Getting Itachi a cold is even more difficult than convincing Deidara to cut his long hair.

The shark-like man slowly walked up to his partners bed, heart pounding. What if something awful had happened to Itachi? What was it that he was about to see under that blanket?

Sweating like a dog in heat, he gulped, reached out his arm, grabbed the edge of the blanket, and pulled.

It was almost scary how fast Kisame's face turned from worried and scared to angry and furious.

Deidara groaned at the loss of the blanket that covered him. He was never able to sleep without blanket for some reason, even if it was the hottest summer night **(1)**. He felt around the bed with his hand, trying to find the blanket. When he didn't, he opened his eyes, only to see a blue raging bull crossed with a shark.

It took him some while to notice that it was Kisame, and when he did, he immediately flew to the door, running for his life with Kisame hot on his trail.

Deidara ran through the many hallways of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes.

The blond's screaming had woken up those who were asleep right then (Hidan), which caused more screaming (cussing) to roar throughout the entire base. Hidan wasn't known to be a morning person...

Deidara ran through the many hallways of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, soon joined by Hidan who wanted to murder the bomber for waking him up so early (12 PM was considered early in Hidan's eyes) and also had that same crazy look in his eyes.

All of the ruckus going throughout the base had caused Kakuzu to lose his concentration, which caused him to lose count of his money that he had been counting for 2 hours. And now he had to start over just because of those stupid bratty idiots! They were going to pay!

Deidara ran through the many hallways of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, soon joined by Hidan who wanted to murder the blond for waking him up so early and also had that same crazy look in his eyes. Soon, Kakuzu joined, wanting to kill every single one of them, with that same crazy look in his eyes.

Sasori, who had been sitting calmly in his lab mixing poisons, heard all of the ruckus. But it wasn't the ruckus who made his hand clench into a tight fist (breaking the can of poisons he was holding). It was the brat's voice. Finally! He'll get his revenge!

Deidara ran through the many hallways of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, joined by Hidan who wanted to murder the blond for waking him up so early and also had that same crazy look in his eyes. The Jashinist was followed by Kakuzu who wanted to kill every single one of them, with that same crazy look in his eyes, soon followed by Sasori, who wanted nothing but to get his hands on Deidara's little throat and slit it, (but not before stealing a kiss or two (Nobody can blame him, he missed the brat!).) with that same cray look in his eyes.

Tobi, who was sitting on the floor of his and Zetsu's room playing Uno with himself (and talking to himself**(2)**) heard all of the ruckus. But his ears perked when he heard a specific voice screaming. That indeed was his precious Deidara-sempai's voice! He had to save him!

Deidara ran through the many hallways of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, joined by Hidan who wanted to murder the blond for waking him up so early and also had that same crazy look in his eyes. The Jashinist was followed by Kakuzu, who wanted to kill every single one of them, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Sasori, who wanted nothing but to get his hands on Deidara's little throat and slit it, with that same crazy look in his joined, tears at the corner of his eyes, screaming for his sempai.

They ended up running outside, and while running, Deidara accidentally stepped on an empty chocolate bar cover laying there on the floor. And Tobi, being the brainless stupid candy-addicted idiot of the lot, thought that it was a new cover with a chocolate bar inside. Candy was one of his most precious things in life...

Deidara ran through the many hallways of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, joined by Hidan who wanted to murder the blond for waking him up so early and also had that same crazy look in his eyes. The Jashinist was followed by Kakuzu, who wanted to kill every single one of them, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Sasori, who wanted nothing but to get his hands on Deidara's little throat and slit it, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Tobi, who wanted to avenge the stepped-on ''chocolate bar'', with that same crazy look in his eyes.

Zorba and Kabuto, who had been taking a walk through the garden, noticed that the mob running like horses on a race were heading in their diraction in an inhuman speed. Kabuto managed to step aside in time, but Zorba, failed (not exactly _failed_. It was more like that a certain Miser held him immovable, and a certain immortal made sure to step on the poor dog extra much).

Deidara ran through the garden of the base, screaming and running for dear life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, joined by Hidan who wanted to murder the blond for waking him up so early and also had that same crazy look in his eyes. The Jashinist was followed by Kakuzu, who wanted to kill every single one of them, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Sasori, who wanted nothing but to get his hands on Deidara's little throat and slit it, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Tobi, who wanted to avenge the stepped-on ''chocolate bar'', with that same crazy look in his eyes. Now followed by Zorba, who was barking and aiming to bite the Zombie Duo's heads off, with that same crazy look in his eyes.

Deidara spotted a house in front of him, and his brain automatically decided that he should run in there (He didn't notice, in his panicked state, that it was Zetsu's greenhouse. If he did, he would be meeting the other member's beatings head on instead of going in there. After all, last time he was in that greenhouse had ended up for all of them facing the wrath of Zetsu.) Hr noticed a lock on the door, and stuck his hand in his bag, and filled his fist with clay. He hastily formed it into a lame ball, not caring if it wasn't artistic, and threw it on the door, successfully blowing it up and allowing him entrance.

All of the members stepped in one by one, and Zetsu's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets. No...No..._No...NOOOOOOOOOOO_!

Deidara ran around Zetsu's greenhouse, unintentionally flipping over the plants and vases while screaming and running for his life with Kisame running behind him with red blood-thirsty eyes, joined by Hidan, who wanted to murder the blond for waking him up so early and also had that same crazy look in his eyes. The Jashinist was followed by Kakuzu, who wanted to kill every single one of them, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Sasori, who wanted nothing but to get his hands on Deidara's little throat and slit it, with that same crazy look in his eyes, followed by Tobi, who wanted to avenge the stepped-on ''chocolate bar'', with that same crazy look in his eyes. Now followed by Zorba, who was barking and aiming to bite the Zombie Duo's heads off, with that same crazy look in his eyes, with Zetsu behind him, wanting to eat them all in one bite, white side teary-eyed and black side with that same crazy look in his eyes.

€#&%/&

Itachi stepped out of the bathroom, looking around, surprised that nobody was there. He had been showering when he heard all of the chaos going on in the base, but now, there was nobody there. Well, at least it'll be nice and silent without them around.

_'And the reason they are fighting about is probably unbelievably pathetic and stupid, anyway.'_

Little did he know that when Deidara ran out of his and Kisame's room in fear, he had stepped on and broke one of Itachi's pictures of his precious little brother Sasuke...

**End chapter 14**

**I don't have much to say right now, since my brain won't come up with anything when it's 1 AM =_=**

**(1): I am like that. I don't know why, but I just can't fall asleep without a blanket, even if it's a very hot night :L**

**(2): You might think I'm crazy, but believe me when I say that talking to yourself while playing a card game on your on is super fun. I always do that...**

**Well, now, as I always do, I thank every one that has somehow supported this fic. Readers, reviewers, alerters, or/and those who favored this. BIG THANK YOU'S TO ALL OF YOU! ****YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! T_T **_**EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. **_**It doesn't matter if you are anonymous or that your review was only one word, or that you haven't even reviewed but read and put on favorites and/or alerts. I love you all!**

**And, you know the drill here,**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

_Winnie The Fatty ~_


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